🧨 This Week in Spain: Junts Sinks Amnesty Bill

Also: a sexy Jesus scandal, stolen corpses and the bleeding out continues at Podemos and Vox.

By @IanMount and @AdrianBono | February 1, 2024 | Madrid | Issue #42

🎉 Welcome to The Tapa, an English-language, weekly newsletter about all things Spain!

🥜 This Week in a Nutshell: It’s finally February! (If you felt like January had 80 days, you’re not alone). It’s been quite a week, with a healthy dose of scandals and more political drama that included separatist party Junts voting against the amnesty bill (?!).

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🚫 Catalan Separatists Put PSOE Coalition to the Test

Catalan separatist party Junts per Catalunya sunk the very amnesty bill it had negotiated with the government—thus removing any illusions socialist Prime Minister Pedro Sánchez might still have held that managing his multi-headed herd of left, far-left, nationalist and separatist (both left and right) parties would be straightforward or a long-term solution to Spain’s Tetris-like governability problems. That’s a long sentence, so let’s dive in!

• A parliamentary vote on Tuesday evening nixed the bill by a vote of 179 against to 171 for. And the key seven votes that killed the bill came from the right-leaning of Catalonia’s two separatist parties, Junts. 

But—why? It’s an interesting question. The bill, negotiated between the separatists and the Sánchez government, was meant to remove the threat of prosecution from those who participated in the separatist-led Catalan government’s failed 2017 attempt to declare independence and the following acts of protest (both violent and peaceful). 

• Especially one man: Carles Puigdemont, the Junts boss who moved to the Brussels suburbs after the 2017 attempt in order to avoid prosecution and would like to return without facing the messy jail thing.

So what changed? Junts negotiated the deal with the PSOE and voted for it on the first few steps of its legislative path (taking several pounds of flesh on the way, like by forcing the creation of a legal discrimination between Real Terrorism and Terrorism Light That’s Okay). But on second thought, it seemed to Junts that the law didn’t go far enough. The problem? Judges. 

• A note on Spanish judges: Depending on where you sit on Spain’s ethno-linguistic-political spectrum (it’s at least 3D!), judges are either a) fearless defenders of the Spanish constitution and the rule of law, b) politicians in robes willing to deform the law to take down those they disagree with, or c) some mix of the two.  (We lean toward c.)

Several recent judicial actions further convinced Junts of their belief in option b. Two, specifically, stuck in the Junts craws.

• First, there’s separatist bête noire Judge Manuel García Castellón, who considers Puigdemont and ERC leader Marta Rovira possible committers of real, honest-to-god terrorism. On Monday—aka the day before the vote on the amnesty bill—he extended his investigation into said possible terrorism charges by six months. 

• García Castellón linked Puigdemont to the founding of Tsunami Democràtic, a movement against the separatist 'procés' ruling that sent some of its leaders to jail, and hammered home that the objective of Tsunami was to “subvert the constitutional order” (it invaded and shut down the Barcelona airport in 2019, among other actions). Which sounds a whole lot like Bad Terrorism. 

• Second, from Russia with love problems. A Russian investigative site reported that Latvia MEP Tatjana Zdanoka had been secretly working for Russia’s FSB security service for decades, and the European Parliament launched an investigation. Why do we care? Because Zdanoka has been a big supporter of the Catalan separatist movement in Brussels, buddying up with leaders over the years.

• Coincidentally (or not), another Spanish judge, Joaquín Aguirre, reopened a case looking into 2017 contacts between Puigdemont’s advisors and supposed Russian emiseries who were said to have offered to send 10,000 troops after Catalonia declared independence. While the idea of Moscow sending 10,000 troops is probably a ridiculous fantasy, any attempt to ally with Russia against Spain sounds a whole lot like high treason, which is suddenly on the table.

Real terrorism and high treason aren’t covered by the amnesty bill, Junts realized. The bill had “holes”, Junts MP Míriam Nogueras said as she explained their ‘no’ to the bill they’d negotiated. 

• What Junts wants is total amnesty. Covering treason and real terrorism. Which would be a massive pill for Sánchez (and anyone else who votes for it) to swallow, and would inevitably inspire massive judicial pushback in Spain and the EU.

So it’s no surprise that Sánchez walked out of parliament looking like someone had just taken a poop on his paella. Or that Sánchez’s cabinet head/attack dog Félix Bolaños tried to paint what happened as just some crazy, crazy thing by saying it was “incomprehensible” that Junts would vote against the bill alongside the PP and Vox, i.e. “the people who want to jail them”. But there’s no easy way out.

What’s next? It’s unclear exactly. The bill goes back to parliament’s justice committee and the parties have 15 days to negotiate a remodeled bill. 

• The PSOE will try to talk Junts into accepting the bill that already exists. Good luck on that.

• If they can’t… they’ll have to accept Junts’s changes (in part or in full), making the political moment even more high-voltage than it is, or let the amnesty deal collapse, which won’t necessarily lead to new elections but would mean governing in minority, incredible difficulty passing a budget or any new laws, and (probably) a short legislature.

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💬 Five things to discuss at dinner parties this week

1. 🔥 The ‘Sexy Jesus’ scandal in Sevilla

Oh boy.

If there’s one thing everyone in Spain has discussed this week, it’s the scandal surrounding the unveiling of the official poster for Seville’s Holy Week celebration.

• What’s wrong with young and beautiful? The poster features a “young and beautiful” Jesus of Nazareth, which sparked outrage among conservative groups, who accused the artist behind it of being “inappropriate” or, worse, “effeminate”.

• Programming note: Semana Santa (Holy Week or Easter Week) is a big deal in Catholic Spain as it commemorates the resurrection of Jesus and all that. And there are events all over the country. The celebrations in Sevilla, however, are on a different level.

• As Sevilla’s official website says: The city has been holding its Easter week celebrations since the 16th century, and they involve some 50,000 people putting on traditional robes to parade in the 58 organized processions, where costaleros carry the pasos (religious statues) on their shoulders. Like, instense.

• Big tourist draw: Each year the city makes a big deal out of unveiling the official poster that promotes this gigantic tourist event. This year was no exception, and on Saturday morning, the poster was unveiled in a ceremony that involved political and religious leaders—including the mayor of Sevilla—and that was, of course, broadcast live on YouTube.

Show me the money: The poster? Here you go:

In the words of contemporary people’s princess Paris Hilton: “That’s hot”.

The initial applause was followed by a collective clutching of pearls all over Spain as people asked themselves: “Is this Jesus… Caucasian even though he was Middle Eastern sexy?”

Well, it depends on who you ask. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

• Immediate backlash: Conservative Christians on social media were horrified. Someone created a petition on Change.org (you know it’s bad when it’s on Change.org) calling for the “immediate withdrawal” of the poster. By Thursday morning 13,000+ people had signed.

• 😱 Reactions: Horrible!” said this YouTuber and Jesus imagery enthusiast. “I don’t feel represented and it doesn’t represent Sevilla,” this lady told Euronews. Catholic writer Isabel Álvarez de la Peza even tweeted that Jesus is supposed to be “strong, muscular, virile. He doesn't have the face of a girl and his wounds are large and deep. They are not pinpricks. I'm sure He didn't like it. Me neither”.

And in the opposite corner… In the “strange bedfellows” category, government and Catholic Church officials, lefties and members of the LGBT community came out to defend Jesus. (Now that’s a sentence we never thought we’d write).

• El País ran an op-ed titled “Long live Gay Jesus”. Nuff said.

• Maybe next time? “To compensate, next year Jesus should be less gay and more MACHO”, a user tweeted along with a photoshopped image of Conan the Barbarian.

• Official response: Sevilla archbishop José Ángel Saiz Meneses isn’t happy with the controversy and asked everyone to “elevate the conversation and center it on Jesus,” while the city’s mayor José Luis Sanz said it was “different, brave, risqué”.

And the artist responsible for the poster?

• Salustiano García (or simply “Salustiano”) is a pretty well-known artist from Sevilla.

• Get over it: “Where’s the scandal? Irreverent to who? … They say he looks gay, may God come and see," he told El Mundo. And added: "That homosexuality is used as a weapon in 2024, and such criticisms come from Christians... I am convinced that Jesus Christ would not approve."

• My son…not of god: The artist explained that the model was actually his son (you can see him on this video) so understandable why he is peeved by the controversy.

For now, it looks like the poster stays as both government and Catholic authorities in Sevilla have come out to support it.

Praise be!

2.  😵 Bring out your dead!

Cost to buy a cadaver in Spain? €1,200.

• How do we know that? Because a funeral home was selling them in Valencia. It seems that Servicios Rivalto 1, in the city’s Benimaclet neighborhood, was using falsified documents to collect dead bodies in hospitals and old age homes and then sold them to universities for study purposes.

• Servicios Rivalto 1 should be a business school case study. The funeral home apparently had a second revenue stream: taking the remains of the, um, “studied” bodies back from the universities and burning them—for a fee. They charged one uni €5,040 to burn 11, apparently stuffing bits in with the bodies of day-to-day paying customers to use extra space and save on cost. Entrepreneurial!

The Policía Nacional launched Operación Thanatos in early 2023 when they learned of a cadaver that had been taken from a hospital morgue in an “irregular” manner. 

• The police followed the body to a university. The Universidad CEU Cardenal Herrera said that, in January 2023, police requested the documentation it received from a funeral home related to a corpse that had arrived at the Faculty of Health Sciences, located in Castellón. The documents showed irregularities, police said.

• The body was meant to be buried in the town where the person had lived (at public expense) but ended up being sold without consent.

Next case: a man with dementia who apparently signed over his body to be taken to a university, only to have it sold to another that offered more 🤑.

• Preying on the poor: It became clear during the investigation that the criminals were—ugly, ugly—preying on foreign and poor people whose families were less likely to complain. 

The police arrested the owners of the funeral home and two workers there. And Valencia’s hospitals have made great efforts to distance themselves from the case. 

• Only donations: The Universitat de Valencia (UV) and the Universidad Católica de Valencia (UCV) said they only accept donated bodies.

The Universidad CEU Cardenal Herrera issued a statement that it “complies with the quality criteria defined at national and international level”, and “collaborated with the investigation and made all the documentation of this case… available to the police.”

Yikes.

3. 👑 Royal couple to get the Leibovitz Treatment

Photo: Casa Real

Legendary American photographer Annie Leibovitz has been commissioned to capture the portraits of King Felipe and Queen Letizia, which will become part of the prestigious art collection at the Bank of Spain.

• A big deal. This year the royal couple is marking not only their 20-year anniversary, but also 10 years since Felipe ascended to the throne amid a scandal that ended with his father, then-King Juan Carlos, abdicating.

• The photo shoot is meant to happen “in the next few days” in Madrid. Leibovitz, who is renowned for her evocative and intimate portraits of celebrities and public figures, is one of the most talented and highest-paid photographers in the world (in fact, according to ABC the portraits will cost €135,000)

Leibovitz has long worked with magazines like Rolling Stone and Vanity Fair and is known for her ability to capture the essence of her subjects.

• She has a history of photographing royalty, having previously taken official photographs of Queen Elizabeth II during her state visit to the U.S. in 2007.

• Some of you may recall the alleged argument (see below) between them that came from a BBC promotional video and that ended with the broadcasting company apologizing and explaining that it was basically a poorly edited promo. (It was still pretty hilarious editing.)

But we digress.

These new images of Spain’s royal couple will not replace the official images of the Kings used in official organizations and entities to represent the Crown.

• The last official photoshoots date back to February 2020 when the Zarzuela Palace released their first portraits since becoming monarchs. Photographer Estela de Castro was commissioned and Princess Leonor and Infanta Sofia appeared for the first time in an official portrait alongside their parents.

Lastly, this won’t be the first time the royal couple meet with Leibovitz.

• They met back in 2013 when Leibovitz was awarded the Prince of Asturias Award for Communication and Humanities, recognizing her as "one of the driving forces behind global photojournalism and one of the most respected photographers in Europe and America."

Small world.

4. 🧟 Spain’s parties of the walking dead

Tough week to be on the extreme right or left. Both Vox (right) and Podemos (left) suffered implosions during the last week, as two parties whose rise supposedly heralded the end of the two party system seem very eager to recreate it. 

• Seriously, when Vox won seats in Andalucía in 2018 it was all “oh my God it’s Trump/Putin/Orban”, and then when Podemos entered the government in 2020, people talked about Spain going far left and turning into Cuba (or Greece). 

• Now, Podemos is an outpost of Sumar and Vox has 33 irrelevant MPS. 

This week’s further collapse of the extremes began with Podemos, when MP and party #3 Lilith Verstrynge made the surprise announcement on Friday that she was resigning her seat and leaving politics—without any explanation at all (dramatic!).

• But why? There is only speculation so far. Party bigwigs wished her well in ways that make it seem she left for personal reasons, with Ione Belarra saying: “Now the fundamental thing is that you take care of yourself and are well” and Irene Montero said “The priority now is you.” You do you, right?

• Bad for Podemos is good for Sumar: Verstrynge led the (very tough) negotiations between Podemos and Sumar before the recent elections, which saw Podemos relegated to a testimonial status. And her departure makes it even more so: With her leaving, Podemos loses one of its five seats, as Verstrynge will be replaced by a Sumar ally.

Vox’s blowout was much more spectacular, though. Like 💥. Five of Vox’s seven legislators in the Balearic parliament threw out the other two on Monday. Then, Vox’s national committee threw those five out of the party. Crazy crazy, right?

• Um, why? Again, not entirely clear. When the five threw out the two on Monday, Vox’s parliamentary spokesperson in the Balearic Islands, Idoia Ribas, gave the following unconvincing justification: They’d been tossed due to “internal circumstances of this group and to achieve the best possible organization and unity.” Crystal clear…not.

• Tit for tat: Vox general secretary Ignacio Garriga announced the expulsion of the other five for acting out of “personal ambition”, which is at least slightly more convincing.

• But seriously, why? One of the original two expulsees said they’d been tossed because they “follow the guidelines and orders of the national leadership" and weren’t able to come to an agreement with the Angry 5 on issues like a spending cap or the required use of Catalan. There were apparently also complaints that one of the original 2, who’d been named by party chief Santiago Abascal, was pregnant. Seriously?

The real issue here? Governing the islands. The PP leads the government with outside support from Vox. Now that Vox is fighting among itself, it may be harder, if not impossible, for the PP to govern. 

• The PP, for its part, has nixed holding new elections on the islands. Vox’s #2 in the archipelago suggested going back to the polls but the PP said “no f-ing way” (we paraphrase). Vox just has to get past the “lamentable” situation, the center-right party says.

Tough time on the extremes, no?

5.🎶 Benidorm Fest is back! (Eurovision here we come!)

Grab your sequins and eye make up because Benidorm Fest is finally back. For those not in the know (and really, why wouldn't you be?), Benidorm Fest is Spain's glittery gateway to the Eurovision Song Contest, where flamboyant artists battle it out to see who’ll be traveling to Malmö, Sweden this year.

• Benidorm Fest is a cultural phenomenon. It’s a blend of pop culture, musical extravaganza, and a bit of national pride (Catalan? Basque? Galician? Who cares, we’re all the same here!) all wrapped up in a spectacle that's as unpredictable as it is exciting.

• It's a stage where the up-and-coming (and some has-beens) of the Spanish music scene compete for a spot at a contest known for its, let's say, unique approach to music and fashion.

While the semifinals are taking place this week in Benidorm, it’s the big final this Saturday night that people will be paying attention to.

• Will it be Angy Fernández, the singer, actress and presenter from Mallorca that is making a big come back?

• How about Nebulossa, the synthpop duo that is serving '80s nostalgia and sings “Zorra” (which, believe it or not, is one of the favorites to win)

• Or maybe Sofia Coll, the singer-dancer-actress whose song “Here to Stay” is sure to become a must-listen during gay Pride this year.

• Then there’s Jorge González, a man who’s been around the reality TV block more times than we care to count and that sounds suspiciously like Ricky Martin.

So, why should you watch Benidorm Fest 2024? Because where else can you find such a great cocktail of musical talent, mixed with a healthy dose of Spanish flair and the lingering question of “what the hell am I watching?”

• The second semifinal, where eight more artists compete to qualify for the final this Saturday night, is scheduled for tonight at 10:50 p.m. and you can watch it on RTVE or La 1.

• The final occurs on Saturday night, when the four winners from Tuesday’s first semifinal and the four that win tonight will compete and whoever is selected will become Spain’s representative in Eurovision.

Don’t forget the popcorn! (And the vermut.)

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