🇺🇸 Mr. Cuerpo Goes to Washington

Madrid | Issue #98

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So very frank

🕴️ Two Men in Suits, Talking About Tariffs

Spain’s Economy Minister Carlos Cuerpo traveled to American Thunderdome (aka Washington, D.C.) for a meeting Tuesday with U.S. Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent. And it seems like the ‘mercans actually are peeved about Spain’s Prime Minister Pedro Sánchez’s flirtations with China last week. Like, the Americans called the Bessent-Cuerpo summit “frank.” 😱 But more on diplomatic “frankness” in a second.

Why meet? Spain, like the rest of the EU and what used to be called the “West”, would like to avoid the tariff-tsunami U.S. President Donald “Orange Man” Trump has threatened to unleash unless they do what he wants. The issue? No one knows what he wants, not even the Orange Man himself.

• But anyway. Spain’s not just like everyone else. Indeed, the Trump regime may have it out for our little España. The Orange Man confused it for a BRICS country (not positive!), for one thing. And noted repeatedly that it doesn’t spend enough on defense. Oh, and just last week, Bessent himself said that if Spain drew closer to China, as Sánchez suggested during a trip to visit China President Xi Jinping, it would be like “cutting your own throat.” Zoinks! 🫣

The point. The meeting between Bessent and Cuerpo, scheduled before Sánchez’s China trip (according to his government), was both a meet-and-greet and a chance to calm the waters.

• A touch of odd. At one level, the meeting was a strange one for Bessent to have, as Spain is not a major trading partner, and Cuerpo has no EU negotiating power—that’s all done through EU bosses in Brussels.

• But it was a big deal for Carlos Cuerpo (aka Carl Body in Bubblespeak), the chance to parley as an “equal” with his equivalent at the world’s biggest economy—and big-up Spain, just as Sánchez did meeting with Xi in China.

So how did the talks go? No one ever tells you exactly what went down. But, man, the tea leaves! 🫖

• Message massage. Carl Body’s aim was to project a vibe of diplomatic normalcy, just two Finance Chieftains doing their thing. And he did that! Cuerpo described “constructive” talks about “mutual interests” and highlighted "the importance of the U.S. for Europe and for Spain as a strategic partner" while at the same time emphasizing Spain’s right to maintain "a frank and open dialogue" with China.

• Dialogue, dude. “Secretary Bessent has conveyed a clear message: the U.S. wants to reach an agreement with its main trade partners,” Cuerpo said. “That confirms the door to dialogue opened last week with the 90 days pause.”

But Bessent wasn’t having it. The Treasury Secretary first played down the importance of the conversation: "It's not a trade meeting," he explained. "It was a pre-scheduled meeting. He and I have never met. That's not a trade meeting. The Japanese meeting [Japan’s trade negotiator is about to meet Bessent about tariffs] is a trade negotiation.”

• Ice cold. Then Bessent iced Cuerpo. In the American meeting summary, released six hours later, the Treasury limited itself to saying the discussions were “frank” and that Bessent had reminded Cuerpo that Spain needed to spend more on defense (Spain is near the bottom of the EU, spending just 1.3% of GDP), and that the U.S. didn’t like Spain’s “Google Tax” (a law that requires digital services—usually U.S. giants—to pay 3% tax on income earned in Spain from advertising and the like). In other words, “Spain, you are a bad little dog!”

How “frank” are we talking? Let’s indulge in a little diplomatic speech digression. Frank is basically forward, direct, and a little unpleasant. As an old New York Times article put it, “Frank is the diplomat's way of saying: 'We did not agree on a thing.” Well, at least it wasn’t “Full and frank.” What does that mean? ''It looks like war.''

• At least he tried. Back in Spain, OKDiario titled its article about the meeting, “U.S. Treasury Secretary Disses Cuerpo”, which you would expect from a right-wing outlet, but even the pro-government El País couldn’t muster up much enthusiasm in its article about the “hard and cold” meeting summary. It listed all the diplomatic niceties the U.S. didn’t use: “Common interests.” “Joint priorities.” “Shared prosperity.” “Strong ties.” “Importance of the relationship.”

On the positive side. The government rolled out the first €1bn of its loan guarantees for businesses hurt by Trump’s tariffs, so we’ve got that. Right?

More news below. 👇👇

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💬 Five things to discuss at dinner parties this week

1. 🍭 Spain is making schools serve more fish and kids are livid

Healthy food for you, kids! Spain’s government passed a decree at its weekly cabinet meeting requiring school lunchrooms to offer more fresh fruits and vegetables, legumes and fish—and to eliminate sugary drinks and industrial pastries.

• Winners and losers. Parents, nutritionists, and the medical profession? Thrilled. But kids? So angry you can hear their stomachs growl.

The lunch line = the front line. In many schools, fresh food is a luxury, and vending machines have been happily pumping out sugar bombs with zero adult supervision. According to the government, nearly 47% of Spanish kids aged 6–9 from low-income families are overweight or obese.

• Hurts the poor most. “The school lunchroom is one of our most powerful tools to fight inequality,” said Minister of Social Rights Pablo Bustinduy, who spearheaded the decree.

So what’s changing on the 🍽? The decree sets nationwide nutrition rules—replacing the previous patchwork of regional discretion and cafeteria roulette. Among the biggest shifts.

• Fresh stuff. Fruit and vegetables must be served daily, and 45% must be seasonal.

• Mandatory toot fruit. Legumes are now mandatory weekly, and whole grain rice or pasta must be on the menu at least four times a month.

• Something fishy. Fish must be offered 1 to 3 times per week. This is a radical change, considering 1,200 schools currently serve, like, none. Knowing the kids we know, this may be the bridge too far. Farty beans are one thing, but fish?! 😡

• The V’s. Vegetarian and vegan options will be required for students with ethical or religious dietary needs. (If a school can’t provide them? Students can bring a packed lunch—and the school has to store and heat it.)

But, but, but. The worst part (for naughty children like we were) is there's been a junk food reckoning.

• No, no, and no. No more sugary drinks, energy drinks, or pastries—either in the cafeteria or vending machines. And packaged foods with more than 5 grams of sugar or 200 kcal per portion? Banned. Like, verboten!

• Not ‘no’ but almost ‘no’. Fried foods? Just once a week. And precooked items like pizza or empanadas? One sad little time per month. ¡Adiós, end-of-term pizza party!

Shed a tear for the children. Bustinduy is betting a better school lunch can change a generation’s health, support local farmers, and keep vending machines from serving up Type 2 diabetes with a straw. Just don’t try telling that to a 9-year-old mourning their cafeteria croissant.

• Give us a moment to mourn. Schools will have to phase in the changes over the course of the next academic year.

2. 🎞️ RTVE wants to warn you about some films but it won’t tell you why

Spain’s national media company RTVE wants to warn you when some films it shows might offend your sensibilities so you can cover your eyes or gird your loins or whatever you do in such situations.

• The offending program. For 35 years, the popular (at least with the olds) program Cine de barrio has been playing Spanish movies (usually comedies) from the 50s, 60s, and 70s (and sometimes beyond!) on Saturday nights.

• Those were the days. We all know that those decades, especially the Franco-y bits, weren’t exactly the sensitive Right On utopia of today and, in fact, people back then said and did some things that definitely wouldn’t be cool in our 21st century.

• Protecting the sensitive. And so, “in response to various audience requests regarding some titles broadcast on Cine de barrio related to sexist and macho attitudes,” RTVE will be “contextualizing” offending films with a pre-show warning. Like a cigarette warning, but to protect your soul.

But, but, but…really? This would just be an amusing example of cultural nanny-ism except for the warning they chose to run (and only when a film requires it).

• The trigger warning. “The circumstances contained in this film are set in a specific era and must be understood within the social context of that era."

And that means… We probably don’t need to (but will) point out that this warning could be applied to any film ever made and therefore means, effectively, nothing.

• Wasn’t this about sexism and macho attitudes? By not specifying the reason, the warning could apply to anything. Like, we’re offended by parachute pants and heavy use of Aqua Net hairspray, and that is definitely from a “specific era” — the 1980s.

• May we suggest. If RTVE wants to warn about Old Societal Attitudes but doesn’t want to say what they are, it could say, “Warning: The following movie is not Right On.”

• Is it to protect people, or… One opinion piece in El Confidencial suggests the warning is meant to remind people that if they like these films, they are terrible. The title? Cine de barrio will remind your grandmother that she's a fucking troglodyte.

Of course it did. Surprising no one, this devolved into a cultural/political argument that played out on X.

• Ping. A journalist from El programa de Ana Rosa (which leans right) wrote, “The plan to idiotize society continues unabated."