đşđ¸ Mr. Cuerpo Goes to Washington
Plus: Tiger King (Mallorca edition) and trigger warnings for Spanish movies.
Madrid | Issue #98
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So very frank
đ´ď¸ Two Men in Suits, Talking About Tariffs

Spainâs Economy Minister Carlos Cuerpo traveled to American Thunderdome (aka Washington, D.C.) for a meeting Tuesday with U.S. Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent. And it seems like the âmercans actually are peeved about Spainâs Prime Minister Pedro SĂĄnchezâs flirtations with China last week. Like, the Americans called the Bessent-Cuerpo summit âfrank.â đą But more on diplomatic âfranknessâ in a second.
Why meet? Spain, like the rest of the EU and what used to be called the âWestâ, would like to avoid the tariff-tsunami U.S. President Donald âOrange Manâ Trump has threatened to unleash unless they do what he wants. The issue? No one knows what he wants, not even the Orange Man himself.
But anyway. Spainâs not just like everyone else. Indeed, the Trump regime may have it out for our little EspaĂąa. The Orange Man confused it for a BRICS country (not positive!), for one thing. And noted repeatedly that it doesnât spend enough on defense. Oh, and just last week, Bessent himself said that if Spain drew closer to China, as SĂĄnchez suggested during a trip to visit China President Xi Jinping, it would be like âcutting your own throat.â Zoinks! đŤŁ
The point. The meeting between Bessent and Cuerpo, scheduled before SĂĄnchezâs China trip (according to his government), was both a meet-and-greet and a chance to calm the waters.
A touch of odd. At one level, the meeting was a strange one for Bessent to have, as Spain is not a major trading partner, and Cuerpo has no EU negotiating powerâthatâs all done through EU bosses in Brussels.
But it was a big deal for Carlos Cuerpo (aka Carl Body in Bubblespeak), the chance to parley as an âequalâ with his equivalent at the worldâs biggest economyâand big-up Spain, just as SĂĄnchez did meeting with Xi in China.
So how did the talks go? No one ever tells you exactly what went down. But, man, the tea leaves! đŤ
Message massage. Carl Bodyâs aim was to project a vibe of diplomatic normalcy, just two Finance Chieftains doing their thing. And he did that! Cuerpo described âconstructiveâ talks about âmutual interestsâ and highlighted "the importance of the U.S. for Europe and for Spain as a strategic partner" while at the same time emphasizing Spainâs right to maintain "a frank and open dialogue" with China.
Dialogue, dude. âSecretary Bessent has conveyed a clear message: the U.S. wants to reach an agreement with its main trade partners,â Cuerpo said. âThat confirms the door to dialogue opened last week with the 90 days pause.â
But Bessent wasnât having it. The Treasury Secretary first played down the importance of the conversation: "It's not a trade meeting," he explained. "It was a pre-scheduled meeting. He and I have never met. That's not a trade meeting. The Japanese meeting [Japanâs trade negotiator is about to meet Bessent about tariffs] is a trade negotiation.â
Ice cold. Then Bessent iced Cuerpo. In the American meeting summary, released six hours later, the Treasury limited itself to saying the discussions were âfrankâ and that Bessent had reminded Cuerpo that Spain needed to spend more on defense (Spain is near the bottom of the EU, spending just 1.3% of GDP), and that the U.S. didnât like Spainâs âGoogle Taxâ (a law that requires digital servicesâusually U.S. giantsâto pay 3% tax on income earned in Spain from advertising and the like). In other words, âSpain, you are a bad little dog!â
How âfrankâ are we talking? Letâs indulge in a little diplomatic speech digression. Frank is basically forward, direct, and a little unpleasant. As an old New York Times article put it, âFrank is the diplomat's way of saying: 'We did not agree on a thing.â Well, at least it wasnât âFull and frank.â What does that mean? ''It looks like war.''
At least he tried. Back in Spain, OKDiario titled its article about the meeting, âU.S. Treasury Secretary Disses Cuerpoâ, which you would expect from a right-wing outlet, but even the pro-government El PaĂs couldnât muster up much enthusiasm in its article about the âhard and coldâ meeting summary. It listed all the diplomatic niceties the U.S. didnât use: âCommon interests.â âJoint priorities.â âShared prosperity.â âStrong ties.â âImportance of the relationship.â
On the positive side. The government rolled out the first âŹ1bn of its loan guarantees for businesses hurt by Trumpâs tariffs, so weâve got that. Right?
More news below. đđ
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đŹ Five things to discuss at dinner parties this week
1. đ Spain is making schools serve more fish and kids are livid
Healthy food for you, kids! Spainâs government passed a decree at its weekly cabinet meeting requiring school lunchrooms to offer more fresh fruits and vegetables, legumes and fishâand to eliminate sugary drinks and industrial pastries.
Winners and losers. Parents, nutritionists, and the medical profession? Thrilled. But kids? So angry you can hear their stomachs growl.
The lunch line = the front line. In many schools, fresh food is a luxury, and vending machines have been happily pumping out sugar bombs with zero adult supervision. According to the government, nearly 47% of Spanish kids aged 6â9 from low-income families are overweight or obese.
Hurts the poor most. âThe school lunchroom is one of our most powerful tools to fight inequality,â said Minister of Social Rights Pablo Bustinduy, who spearheaded the decree.
So whatâs changing on the đ˝? The decree sets nationwide nutrition rulesâreplacing the previous patchwork of regional discretion and cafeteria roulette. Among the biggest shifts.
Fresh stuff. Fruit and vegetables must be served daily, and 45% must be seasonal.
Mandatory toot fruit. Legumes are now mandatory weekly, and whole grain rice or pasta must be on the menu at least four times a month.
Something fishy. Fish must be offered 1 to 3 times per week. This is a radical change, considering 1,200 schools currently serve, like, none. Knowing the kids we know, this may be the bridge too far. Farty beans are one thing, but fish?! đĄ
The Vâs. Vegetarian and vegan options will be required for students with ethical or religious dietary needs. (If a school canât provide them? Students can bring a packed lunchâand the school has to store and heat it.)
But, but, but. The worst part (for naughty children like we were) is there's been a junk food reckoning.
No, no, and no. No more sugary drinks, energy drinks, or pastriesâeither in the cafeteria or vending machines. And packaged foods with more than 5 grams of sugar or 200 kcal per portion? Banned. Like, verboten!
Not ânoâ but almost ânoâ. Fried foods? Just once a week. And precooked items like pizza or empanadas? One sad little time per month. ÂĄAdiĂłs, end-of-term pizza party!
Shed a tear for the children. Bustinduy is betting a better school lunch can change a generationâs health, support local farmers, and keep vending machines from serving up Type 2 diabetes with a straw. Just donât try telling that to a 9-year-old mourning their cafeteria croissant.
Give us a moment to mourn. Schools will have to phase in the changes over the course of the next academic year.
2. đď¸ RTVE wants to warn you about some films but it wonât tell you why
Spainâs national media company RTVE wants to warn you when some films it shows might offend your sensibilities so you can cover your eyes or gird your loins or whatever you do in such situations.
The offending program. For 35 years, the popular (at least with the olds) program Cine de barrio has been playing Spanish movies (usually comedies) from the 50s, 60s, and 70s (and sometimes beyond!) on Saturday nights.
Those were the days. We all know that those decades, especially the Franco-y bits, werenât exactly the sensitive Right On utopia of today and, in fact, people back then said and did some things that definitely wouldnât be cool in our 21st century.
Protecting the sensitive. And so, âin response to various audience requests regarding some titles broadcast on Cine de barrio related to sexist and macho attitudes,â RTVE will be âcontextualizingâ offending films with a pre-show warning. Like a cigarette warning, but to protect your soul.
But, but, butâŚreally? This would just be an amusing example of cultural nanny-ism except for the warning they chose to run (and only when a film requires it).
The trigger warning. âThe circumstances contained in this film are set in a specific era and must be understood within the social context of that era."
And that means⌠We probably donât need to (but will) point out that this warning could be applied to any film ever made and therefore means, effectively, nothing.
Wasnât this about sexism and macho attitudes? By not specifying the reason, the warning could apply to anything. Like, weâre offended by parachute pants and heavy use of Aqua Net hairspray, and that is definitely from a âspecific eraâ â the 1980s.
May we suggest. If RTVE wants to warn about Old Societal Attitudes but doesnât want to say what they are, it could say, âWarning: The following movie is not Right On.â
Is it to protect people, or⌠One opinion piece in El Confidencial suggests the warning is meant to remind people that if they like these films, they are terrible. The title? Cine de barrio will remind your grandmother that she's a fucking troglodyte.
Of course it did. Surprising no one, this devolved into a cultural/political argument that played out on X.
Ping. A journalist from El programa de Ana Rosa (which leans right) wrote, âThe plan to idiotize society continues unabated."
Pong. To which the president of RTVE (nominated by the PSOE) replied, âWhat you call âdumbing downâ others see as not trivializing physical violence against women, homophobia, or the perpetuation of macho roles. All under a layer of paternalistic humor inspired by the values ââof Francoism that permeate these Spanish films from the 1960s.â
Which begs the question. If these movies are so bad, why is RTVE showing them?
3. đŻď¸ Pilar AlegrĂa is not happy about sexist smear campaign
Spainâs Education Minister Pilar AlegrĂa is at the center of a political storm after being linked to rumors about a 2020 party in a hotel outside Teruel, que tambiĂŠn existe, (sorry, nerdy political joke), allegedly involving sex workers and disgraced ex-Transport Minister JosĂŠ Luis Ăbalos.
Rumor has it. The original rumor describing an âorgy with ladiesâ surfaced in 2021 but has seen new life lately thanks to right-wing publication OKDiario, which last week wrote about how Ăbalos allegedly brought a van full of âladiesâ (euphemism for sex workers) to the hotel and trashed the suite.
Man in trouble. Ăbalos, who you may remember for his involvement in last yearâs massive facemasks corruption scandal, says itâs all âa blatant lieâ and that heâs taking legal action. (And thereâs this: No evidence has ever confirmed the claims.)
The hotel speak. Hotel chain Paradores issued a press statement âcategorically denyingâ that anyone trashed the suite that day (but named no names).
Hereâs the (tenuous) link. Rumors surfaced that AlegrĂa, who was then the governmentâs delegate in AragĂłn (where Teruel is found), had also stayed at the Parador hotel that night. And she confirmedâbut she publicly detailed her schedule that day âalmost minute by minuteâ to distance herself from the scandal. (She insists she had no knowledge of any party.)
The way we live now. The rumors were enough to unleash a torrent of misogynistic abuse online against her; AlegrĂa describes the renewed attacks as politically motivated.
Strong language. âFor the last 48 hours Iâve been called a whore, a slut and a cocksucker,â she wrote on X on Sunday, referring to the messages sheâs received since being mentioned in stories about the alleged party.
Legal response. AlegrĂa says sheâs exploring legal action. âThere are those who are deliberately distorting the facts to hurt me,â she said on Tuesday (see video above), denouncing the âdeafening misogynyâ behind the attacks and questioning how such rumors and insults can go unchecked.
Broad support. Leaders from most of the political spectrum came out to support her, from PM Sånchez to PP boss Alberto Núùez Feijóo.
Not good. SĂĄnchez called the attacks âa clear example of the hatred that spreads under the cover of online anonymity,â while Núùez FeijĂło also condemned them but also said AlegrĂa should have âclarified her whereabouts earlierâ. He also asked the PSOE to show the same concern when PP women, like Madrid regional president Isabel DĂaz Ayuso, are targeted online, which is fair.
And then thereâs far-right Vox. Because, of course. MP JosĂŠ MarĂa Figaredo dismissed her response as âfalse indignation,â accusing her of trying to distract from her supposed responsibility in the broader corruption investigation tied to Ăbalos.
4. đš Cataloniaâs Sant Jordi drama: Illa ignites separatist fury
Socialist regional president Salvador Illa (who is against Cataloniaâs independence) has ignited backlash from the separatist movement after announcing that heâll open this yearâs Sant Jordi festivities with a public conversation alongside novelist Javier Cercas.
Why you should care. This is a move that critics (i.e. separatists) are calling a symbolic act of âSpanishization.â Which is a hard word to pronounce in any language.
More than a holiday. For many Catalans, Sant Jordi (Saint Georgeâs Day, which this year lands on April 23) is a cultural cornerstone and a day thatâs long been associated with Catalan identity, language, linguistic rights, and pride. On that day, people gift each other red rosesâand books.
Insult and injury. Illaâs choice to open the event with Cercas, a Spanish-speaking author critical of the procĂŠs (the separatist process that included the infamous 2017 illegal referendum) has hit a political nerve. Cercas grew up in Catalonia but his parents are from Extremadura.
Saint who? Sant Jordi is celebrated across Catalonia every year, commemorating the martyrdom of the knight Saint George, who was executed for refusing to persecute Christians in the year 303 (and also killed a dragon!).
Did we mention the dragon? His cult spread throughout the Catalan-speaking regions during the Middle Ages, and in 1456 he was officially declared the patron saint of Catalonia.
So why the fuss? Even though Cercas lives in Girona, he writes exclusively in Spanish and has long rejected the legitimacy of the separatist movement.
As in⌠In 2021, he compared the procÊs to the Basque terrorist organization ETA, infuriating pro-independence activists.
Itâs about books. While Illaâs team says the April 22 conversation will be about literature, tradition, and unity, many see it as an effort to reframe Cataloniaâs cultural identity and downplay its nationalist past.
Cue the angry separatists.
Josep Alay, a close ally of outlaw separatist Junts leader Carles Puigdemont, accused Illa of preparing a âSpanish covenâ disguised as cultural dialogue: âCatalonia wonât be dismantled in six months,â he wrote on X.
Francesc de Dalmases (an MP also from Junts) went further, calling Cercas a ârevisionist defender of fascismâ and accusing Illa of violating everything Sant Jordi represents. đą
Writer Pilar Rahola, in ElNacional.cat, criticized the event and said: âYou want [Catalonia] to be very cosmopolitan, very progressive, to stand up for many things, but also to stop being Catalan.â
Bigger picture. This isnât just about one writer or one event. The backlash reflects growing unease among separatists that Illaâs center-left PSC (Catalan socialist party) is reclaiming historically symbolic spaces and holidays.
Getting along or loss of identity? Since Illaâs election as regional boss last year (the first non-separatist one in 14 years), some believe his government is trying to turn the page on years of political polarization and bring Catalonia back into Spainâs institutional fold.
5. đ
Tiger King, Mallorca edition: Big cats, fake passports and an exotic pet scandal
Fat cats. The big story from the Balearic Islands that didnât involve overtourism this week? The discovery of an illegal exotic feline breeding and trafficking operation on the island tied to a global smuggling ring.
Intrigue in Meow-llorca (sorry for the pun but had to). Two people were arrested in the small town of Ariany, in Mallorca, for breeding and selling protected feline species, including servals, caracals, and even hybrid cats, many of them trafficked from Eastern Europe.
Guardia Civil officers found 19 big cats on the recluse location, including a purebred caracal, two servals, and 16 hybrid felines. (Have you ever been hissed at by a caracal? Terrifying.) They also seized over 40 animal passports from Russia, Belarus, and China.
Get your cats here! According to Diario de Mallorca, the suspects regularly advertised the sale of âwhite tigers, clouded leopards, Eurasian lynxes, hyenas, black leopards, and pumas on their social media accountsâ. Which is nuts.
Not cheap. People were even willing to pay âŹ60,000 for a black leopard (and for probably having their face eaten).
Only getting started. The operation was reportedly the tip of the iceberg of a larger trafficking network smuggling animals through the Poland-Belarus border.
Cross-breeding. Spainâs Nature Protection Service (SEPRONA) says this network specializes in breeding wild cats with domestic ones to create hybrids (which look great and exotic and are theoretically less dangerous).
Pets? The Guardia Civil says these hybrids are part of a trend popularized in Russia and Ukraine. The animals are bought as pets but often abandoned due to (surprise!) their size, aggression and how expensive it is to keep them.
Why this matters. The EU is one of the worldâs biggest hubs for illegal wildlife trafficking. This operation, which involved not only breeders but also transporters, and vets, stretched across borders and shined a spotlight on a troubling trend: the growing market for exotic pets disguised as luxury status symbols.
The arrested couple faces charges of wildlife crimes, smuggling, document fraud, and organized crime, while the face-eating kitties have been temporarily relocated to Son Serveraâs Safari Zoo before being resettled in a wildlife sanctuary in Alicante. đââŹ
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