🪖 Trump: 'There is a problem with Spain'

Plus: A disfigured virgin, a deluge of digital nomads, and the hottest June ever!

Madrid | Issue #108

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NATO not nice

🎃 PM Sánchez visits NATO and runs into Trump

Mr Handsome looks so sad far from his friends (lower right). Source: NATO

PM Pedro Sánchez thought he’d won the NATO summit before it started. Through some linguistic judo — tweaking the declaration to say ”allies” instead of “all allies” or “we” — his team thought it had managed to quietly duck out of Lord Orange Head U.S. President Donald Trump’s big demand: that members spend 5% of GDP on defense.

• The thinking. This would keep Sánchez’s far-left coalition allies quiet (and the budget intact). After all, he was still recovering from last week’s “Yes, many of my friends are corrupt” moment. So smart! So smooth! But maybe he misread the room… (we call this foreshadowing).

Victory lap, right? 🎉 In a triumphant Sunday announcement about the deal, Sánchez (aka Mr Handsome) crowed that Spain wouldn’t meet the “disproportionate and unnecessary” 5% GDP defense spend commitment and that its 2.1% spend was quite enough, gracias.

• No sacrifice. "As sovereign nations," he said, "each NATO member has the right to choose whether to make those sacrifices. As a sovereign nation, we choose not to."

• It’s just not very us. Hitting 5% would mean, he said, raising taxes by €3,000/year per worker, cutting pensions by 40%, halving state investment in education, or eliminating benefits like unemployment: "It is incompatible with our welfare state," he told NATO.

• Burn of the week. When Sánchez nemesis Alberto Nuñez Feijóo of the center-right PP dared suggest the announcement was pure propaganda, Sánchez clapped back on X, posting a letter about the deal from NATO boss Mark Rutte and saying, “Here, Alberto. Have someone translate it for you.” A brutal burn, considering Feijóo’s…let’s say limited grasp of English. It must have felt great!

But then, awkward silence. As quickly as you can say, “How it started/How it’s going”, other NATO countries started hating on Sánchez — and Spain — for the special deal and his lack of solidarity with the whole “protecting Europe together” project.

• Dissing and dissent. Slovakia, Belgium, and Canada began asking if they really needed to hit 5%, and one European defense official told Politico, “I have no words to express my disgust” toward Spain.

• Lord Orange Head’s eye. Then, on his way to the summit on Air Force One, Trump dropped a bomb: “There’s a problem with Spain,” he said. “Spain is not agreeing, which is very unfair to the rest of them, frankly.” The table was set for a very tense NATO family dinner. So exciting! 🎉

Clear from the start. From the NATO summit's opening bell it was clear Sánchez’s triumph had become a problem. As in, in the official photo from the NATO welcome ceremony (see photo above), Sánchez found himself standing off at the edge — not wearing a dunce cap in the corner, but close.

• PP reply. The PP used the summit’s family photo to tweet that “NATO sidelines Sánchez, Sánchez sidelines Spain.”

• Not exactly. NATO sources, however, told the PSOE-friendly El Diario that the real reason for Sánchez’s place in the photo was alphabetical—as in, leaders are positioned in the alphabetical order of their country’s name: Indeed, an image from the 2017 summit in Brussels shows then-PM Mariano Rajoy in the same position, although Sánchez does seem to be… lonelier in yesterday’s version.

Escalated quickly. The tense summit quickly spiraled into yet another Trump show. And this time — surprise! — Spain was the main character (for as change).

• Orange tirade. “They’re the only country that won’t pay the full amount,” Trump complained, before promising economic revenge. “We’re negotiating with Spain on a trade deal. We’re going to make them pay twice as much.”

• More! Trump didn’t stop there. While he described Spain as “a great place with great people,” (which is nice), he warned that the country’s economy (which he admitted is doing “very well”) “could be blown right out of the water with something bad happening.” (which sounds like an old mafia threat and is thus not nice).

• Mano a mano. Adding a cherry on top, Trump said he’d be handling negotiations with Spain “personally.” The problem is (spoiler alert) Spain doesn’t negotiate its own trade deals. That’s the European Commission’s job. But who’s counting?

Linguistic ballet. At the close of the summit, Sánchez made it clear that he believed the NATO joint declaration, and the exchange of letters with Rutte, gave Spain the flexibility to follow a its own investment path (i.e. spend less). So, like, Spain could somehow meet its commitments to NATO, which came out of a demand from Trump, without actually acceding to Trump’s demands? Yeah, sorta.

• Irony alla bolognese. Italian PM Giorgia Meloni, addressed Mr. Handsome’s statements with a healthy dose of irony, saying that all 32 NATO member states — including Spain — had signed the same commitment, so no special treatment.

• No difference. “Italy did the same as Spain, or Spain did the same as us — I’m not sure. But the 32 of us did exactly the same thing,” she said with a smirk.

Meanwhile, in Madrid. Everyone across the political spectrum was unhappy (but for different reasons).

• The PP: Parliamentary spokesperson Miguel Tellado accused the PM of manufacturing a diplomatic confrontation with the U.S. to distract from domestic scandals. (Probably true.)

• Sumar: Minister of Culture Ernest Urtasun of Sumar, the junior partner in the coalition government, said Trump’s threats were political posturing from someone who “doesn’t understand how the EU works.” (This is undeniably true.)

• And then there’s Podemos: The far-left party is totally opposed to any increase of military spending so when speaking in Parliament party leader Ione Belarra said (and we quote): “Fuck Trump, fuck OTAN”. Which doesn’t sound very constructive because a) swearing never helps and b) OTAN is what you call NATO in Spanish so we’re pretty sure Trump would never understand what she meant.

By the way. Sánchez admitted he hadn’t gotten to speak with Trump, but he made an effort to downplay any direct confrontation with the U.S.: “Spain is always the solution, never the problem.” Amen, brother 😂.

More news below. 👇👇

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💬 Five things to discuss at dinner parties

1. 🏦➕🏦❓ Sánchez really doesn’t want this bank merger to happen

You may now kiss the bride in three to five years. This week, Spain’s government told banking giant BBVA that it can buy smaller rival Banco Sabadell - but that it couldn’t, um, consummate the relationship for at least three years. Maybe five. Which sounded a whole lot like, “We’d really rather you two not get married.”

• Wait, what’s this about? This harkens back to an awkward situation we told you about in March. That’s when Spain’s competition watchdog CNMC unanimously approved the €14bn merger - with some strings.

• What conditions? Like, BBVA agreed to a series of concessions - basically, BBVA had to promise not to gut Sabadell’s rural branches or stiff small businesses.

That seems fine. But PM Pedro Sánchez was still not happy. You see, Sabadell is based in Catalonia - a PSOE stronghold and a region whose nationalist/separatist parties keep Sánchez in government. So having it taken over by BBVA, a Basque bank that’s really based in Madrid? It would anger allies and cut the Catalan business elite’s power. Oh, and the PSOE’s far-left coalition partner hates bank mergers.

• Enter: Eurovision for Bank Mergers™ 🎤. That’s when Sánchez came up with the random innovative idea of a public consultation to see if the BBVA-Sabadell deal would affect the "general interest“ beyond competition law. Anyone could comment and suggest fixes. Like voting for Eurovision! (Except, you know, boring).

That’s how we got here. After considering the comments (or not), the government, aka Economy Minister Carlos Cuerpo, dropped the new terms on Tuesday.

• New conditions. BBVA and Sabadell must stay legally separate for 3–5 years. And no layoffs or branch closures tied to the deal in that time

• Maybe that’s not so bad? We don’t like layoffs more than the next guy. But banks, like most industries, are going through a tech makeover that means fewer branches and fewer people. And Spain has the second highest ratio of bank branches/100,000 people in the EU.

• The issue is… BBVA saw itself saving €300m from job cuts, €100m from lower funding costs and €450m from merging the tech and admin of the two banks, leading to a projected 20% return on Investment (ROI) on the deal. But with the new limits, analysts say that payoff drops to 13%.

So what’s next? BBVA has said it would “evaluate” the new government conditions and decide what to do. It could drop the merger, go through with it under the new terms, or sue the government for exceeding its authority.

• The bigger picture. Domestic politics considerations clearly played a role here (though Cuerpo says they didn’t), which isn’t going over well in Brussels. The EU wants bigger European banks to compete with U.S. giants, and it doesn’t love national governments mucking things up. It warned Spain not to take “discretionary” steps to block the merger - and even threatened legal action.

Kind of a 0-2 week for Sánchez in Brussels: First he hinders a merger that would bolster European finance. Then, he tells the EU Spain won’t pony up for its defense fund (see above). From EU darling to…that guy at the wedding who shows up late. And objects.

2. 🙏 Holy makeover gone wrong: The Macarena meltdown

Photo credit: Twitter/@ivanpuente

Nope. We’re not talking about the ‘90s hit song.

What started as a “routine restoration” of La Virgen de la Macarena (the Virgin of Hope of Macarena), one of Spain’s most beloved religious icons, turned into an all-out Holy Week-level scandal (and not the kind that ends with tears of joy and people screaming “guapa!”). This one came with tears of rage, botched lashes, and a city in full-blown emotional meltdown.

• La Macarena isn’t just any statue. She’s the queen of Seville’s Semana Santa. A 17th-century icon worshipped by thousands and protected like a national treasure.

• Sprucing up. When the brotherhood, or cofradía (the Catholic association that cares for her), decided she needed a little maintenance — you know, some retouching on her face, lashes, and complexion — people expected a gentle refresh. Like when your friends get Botox. However, what they got was… the eyelashes from hell.

We’re not joking. The last time Spanish Catholics were this furious was in 2012 after the Ecce Homo restoration fiasco.

• The first reveal after the touch-up left people speechless—and not in a good way. The new lashes were, well, cartoonishly long different; the color of her face had changed dramatically, and her expression, that famous look of sorrow and serenity, had vanished. Instead, she looked like she belonged on the poster of a Seth Rogen movie from the late ’00s. (Get it? She looks high.)

• So very sad. People cried in front of her. Others screamed. One local summed it up: “This isn’t my Virgin.” Even the brotherhood’s first tweet with the after photos mysteriously disappeared.

• Quick, hit ‘undo’. Within 24 hours, they tried to fix the fix, removing the lashes and bringing back some of her rosy cheeks/pinkish hue. But it was too late: La Macarena was already trending, and the streets were filled with furious faithful demanding answers.

The backlash was so fierce that two top officials from the brotherhood resigned. After 72 hours of staying mum, the organization finally broke its silence… at 3 a.m.

• So very sorry. The X statement included an apology for the “moral and devotional damage” caused by the controversial restoration. The brotherhood admitted to acting “erroneously” at certain points throughout the process and threw the original restorer, Francisco Arquillo, under the Easter float bus.

• Call the academics! They’ve also brought in the Instituto Andaluz de Patrimonio Histórico (aka the big guns) to audit what the hell just happened. See? Very serious stuff.

So where are we now? The Virgin is back in her usual spot, the camarín, no new interventions are taking place (allegedly), and the IAPH is working on an official assessment. However, the damage (aesthetic, emotional, and reputational) is done.

• One woman summed up the general mood. “They stole my Virgin. My mother won’t come to see her again. She says it’s not her anymore.”

But there is good news! Fret not, fellow soldier of Christ, here’s a palate cleanser to end on a high note: Far away from the chaos in Seville, the proud people of Boadilla del Monte, west of Madrid, are gearing up for their own answer to Rio de Janeiro's Christ the Redeemer (except it’s bigger, definitely holier and far more expensive).

• Seriously. A group of devoted believers is planning to erect a 60-meter-wide Sacred Heart of Jesus statue there by 2030.

• Designed with arms open wide to “embrace humanity” (and the M-50), the monument will feature glass wounds based on the Shroud of Turin, an inner chapel, and a descending heart lit by sunrise.

• Budget? A modest €17 million (raised through donations, natch).

Spain’s religious icon game is entering its Marvel phase, and we’re here for it. Let’s just hope they don’t screw up the restoration work 100 years from now.

3. 💻 We love the laptop army (even if they raise our rent). Right?

Photo by David L. Espina Rincon on Unsplash

Teleworkers rejoice! Back in 2022, Spain passed a law making it easier for non-EU remote workers and entrepreneurs to move here. We made some joke about how this would cause a deluge of foreign noobs. Then the Digital Nomad Visa Index named Spain “the best country for digital nomads” in 2024 and we were like: “WFH is about to become WFS” (get it?) and “Deluge incoming.”

• We were right. According to Spain’s immigration ministry, the number of residence permits for digital nomads went literally cray-cray 😱

Like, seriously. There are now 27,875 foreign remote workers and their family members legally living in Spain - up from just 9,500 a year before. The number of actual nomads (not just their tag-along dependents) has doubled to 14,255. Most hail from outside the EU, including a growing share from North and South America (29% in total).

• Why Spain? 🌞 It’s not just the sun, though that helps. Spain has a powerful combination of moderate visa requirements (you only need to earn €2,762/month - less than half what Iceland demands), urban charm, and a killer work-life onda. You can get a cortado for €1.80, find a coworking desk in an old palace, and be kite-surfing by 6 p.m. (all true, btw).

Big cities. Spain’s big four - Madrid, Barcelona, Valencia, and Málaga - have become the Wi-Fi-enabled promised land. Valencia, in particular, has become a darling of the nomad crowd, with 42 international companies investing more than €260 million there, including Microsoft, which just announced a new R&D hub for sports and health tech in a repurposed flour mill.

• Pros, meet cons. Nomads don’t just sit around on rooftops fiddling with Canva docs (though they kinda do). Local officials call them “economic catalysts.” They rent flats, they order poke bowls, they drink bubble tea, they pay taxes. They boost tourism. They drive innovation. They bring vibes. And when foreign investment in Spain is falling - down 5% in 2024 - nomads are at least bringing themselves.

But, but, but… It’s not all beanbags and Bitcoin. With higher incomes than most locals, they’re helping to push up rents in cities that were already tense about housing. Five out of every 100 Barceloneses are now expats migrants 🤯, and that number is rising. Some towns are offering incentives (Extremadura will pay you up to €15,000 to settle there). Others are quietly wishing the cool kids would cool it.

• The trend is real. The “laptop class” is no longer just that guy at the café in El Born (though it is him too). It's a full-blown demographic wave. And like any wave, it reshapes the beach: economically, culturally, and yes, for better or worse, financially.

Be nice to your local nomad. While we all figure this out.

4. 🥵 Spain’s hottest June ever is ending with… a heat wave!

You heard the man! Okay, technically the spokesperson for Aemet (Spain’s weather service) said, “This June will probably be the hottest on record.” But we’re fine going with “hottest ever,” and here’s why: while their records go back to 1961, they have some data going as far back as 1805 and, oh yeah - climate change.

• Weather Dude’s tired. Even Aemet’s own X feed sounds heat-stroked. On Monday, its Valencia office posted, “In Alicante and Valencia, we have data dating to the mid-19th century, and there's no precedent for a June as warm as this. The closest was in 2003.”

So we’re due for a break, right? Absolutely not. Welcome to Hell, Part II. 👹 Aemet warned on Wednesday that Spain is about to suffer its first ola de calor (heat wave) of the summer. To which we replied, what the hell do you call the one we’re in? (The answer? The last heat wave of the spring.)

• Like how bad are we talking? Aemet is predicting an intense heat wave with highs of up to 44°C (that’s like a million in Farenheit) and sweltering nights lasting until next Wednesday or Thursday. 😭

• An Aemet guy again. Spokesman Rubén del Campo said we’ll experience “some early mornings where temperatures don’t drop below 25°C” - especially along the Med and in the south.

• Some hellish Andalusian highlights. In Sevilla, expect highs of 43-44°C from Saturday to Monday. But really, once it’s over 40, does it matter?

And no, it’s not just Spain! According to the EU climate service Copernicus, this June is among the three hottest Junes ever recorded on Earth. The other two? 2024 and 2023. See a trend? If you do, don’t worry. Climate change is all in your head.

• What can we look forward to? A quick, painless death. July’s coming. And August. 🤣

5. 💸 That’s a GoFundMe we didn’t see coming

Crowdfunding can be beautiful. It can fund a startup (maybe, like The Bubble? 🤔), or help pay for someone’s emergency surgery (ahem, we’re looking at you, America). But €80,000 to cover a fine for killing a man? That’s the story of José Manuel Lomas, the retired bookseller of Ciudad Real.

• The crime. Back in August 2021, Lomas - then in his late 70s—shot and killed a 36-year-old man who broke into his rural home carrying a chainsaw. The man, Nelson David Ramírez, had the chainsaw turned off and made no threatening move. Lomas, however, fired two fatal shots at Ramírez’s chest with a shotgun without warning.

• Convicted. In 2024, a jury convicted Lomas of homicide with dolo eventual (basically: you didn’t mean to kill, but kinda didn’t care if you did). The court ruled that he acted "drastically," without considering "other more proportionate conduct." He was sentenced to more than six years in prison.

Now, Act II. Citing Lomas’s mental health issues - specifically, paranoid delusional disorder - and his confession, the appeals court knocked the sentence down to nine months and four days, which he had already served in pre-trial detention. No more jail. But while his compensation to Ramírez’s family was cut too (from €153,000), he was still on the hook for €52,000 in damages to the family - plus legal costs and therapy.

• That’s where GoFundMe comes in. Lomas lives on a tiny pension and didn’t want to sell his only asset - his house - so his lawyer launched a crowdfunding campaign early this month. And surprise…it’s working. As of yesterday, the campaign had raised more than €59,000, with some 2,400 individual donations. Some gave up to €1,000.

Well, it’s sorta about money. The lawyer says it’s not just the money - “It’s the moral support,” he told reporters, “of feeling loved and respected.”

• And totally above board. GoFundMe has confirmed the campaign meets its rules, since it wasn’t launched to cover legal defense for the crime, only post-sentencing costs. (Nice to know where the line is, kinda?)

Controversy (surprise). Still, the whole case has split public opinion. Some see Lomas as a vigilante hero - the anciano justiciero. Supporters held rallies in multiple cities, launched petitions with tens of thousands of signatures, and flooded social media with messages basically asking, “What would you do if someone broke into your home with a chainsaw?”

• But not everyone. Others were less sympathetic, pointing out that the intruder never actually threatened Lomas.

Not shocking Vox action. Naturally, far-right Vox jumped on the case, using it to bash immigration (Ramírez is from Honduras: usually Vox blames muslims but apparently made an exception here), and call for a Penal Code rewrite expanding self-defense rights. “Spain is upside-down,” thundered party leader Santiago Abascal at a rally. “It protects criminals and punishes those who respect the law.”

• Nuance, perhaps? Maybe it’s kind of winning that Spain thinks self-defense can be legitimate - and can go too far.

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