The WhatsApp group text: harbinger of useful information once a week but mostly just false hope that someone actually wants to hang out with you when you hear your phone ping. Nope, it’s just your 60 best friends with very pressing questions. “Does anyone know where the verduleria is?” “Does it sell kale?” “Kale is my brother’s name!” “I need more vegetables!” “Has anyone else gained wait recently?” “Let’s all join a gym!” “Which gym?” “I’m in!” “I’ve broken my thumb I can’t go to the gym tonight!” “Never mind!” “Ale why aren’t you responding?” “Does anyone know of a thumb doctor? Guys?”
Apparently Colegio Beth in Palermo feels the same way. The primary school has issued a guide that has since gone viral, to the Internet’s delight, for parents on how to effectively use the popular messaging service, because apparently when you are a parent the evils of the group text multiply tenfold
oh my god I can never have children which is fine because look at how adorable little Facu is. His little cheeks! Little rat tail! Little Boca jersey! Where were we? Oh yes, WhatsApp.
The guide gives helpful reminders on how to use your common sense like; “Think twice before writing. Do not write something that you would not say in person and note that the written word can be easily misinterpreted,” and, “don’t overdo the emoticons. There are things that need clarification. A picture is not always worth a thousand words.” Someone give these people a Ted Talk immediately.
The guide, which was issued by the school over WhatsApp, but of course, and Facebook, has clearly touched a cord with the general group-texting public. It has been shared almost 3,000 times as of the writing of this article. And let us say Amen. Quietly. To ourselves. Not in the group chat.