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The Cadena Nacional: Season 07, Episode 31

By | [email protected] | July 17, 2015 5:15pm

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Oy vey.

You know how sometimes the Cadena Nacional is, like Seinfeld, a show about nothing? Well, at least Seinfeld is funny. This one was pretty blah.

Yesterday’s Cadena was mostly about announcements that barely justified interrupting whatever gossip television show people watch at 6 PM. In fact, people who see their programming interrupted are now taking to Twitter to complain.

Speaking from the Tecnópolis science and technology theme park, Cristina introduced a new government program named Qunita, which provides pregnant mothers with a cradle, blankets and other basic accessories for their baby. A good idea that will help 150,000 mothers who can’t afford to pay for stuff for their unborn child. All the need to do in order to get the kits is go through a series of mandatory check ups throughout pregnancy to make sure that the baby is doing alright. My only issue is the name, which is a misspelling of the Spanish word cunita (“little cradle”) only because supposedly it sounds cuter when you spell it with a q instead of a c. It’s like the I can haz cheeseburger of government programs.

The President also mentioned the recent unveiling of the Juana Azurduy statue outside the Casa Rosada and said that “now instead of having Columbus looking at Europe, we have Juana looking at Argentina.”

“Now I have Juana looking at me outside my window. I had my office window modified so that I can see Juana now. She’s raising her left hand which (in battle) is used to lead the way. She’s now looking inside the Casa Rosada. It may seem like I’m nitpicking, but the one who was there before, Columbus, was pointing outwards* with his back towards Argentina. Juana looks inwards, to Argentina, and points towards us. It’s not a minor detail. Whoever attacks the country should remember that Juana will be pointing at them.”

*Columbus was actually not pointing anywhere, but whatevs.

Like someone on Twitter said, this is you when the Cadena Nacional is over: