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The Bubble’s (Nightlife) Guide To The 2013 Buenos Aires Gay Pride Parade

By | [email protected] | November 7, 2013 10:38pm

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OK, people. The Gaypocalypse is upon us. As promised, I’m here to present you all with some options and information about what to do on Pride night (which is November 9, in case you’ve been living under a rock.) Just like I said in part one of this two-part Pulitzer masterpiece, save your energy this week for Saturday. You are most likely going to get more than your fair share of walking, booze, and nip-slips.

**CAUTIONARY NOTE**

Not to pull a Carrie’s mom here, but there are a fe  w precautions that should be taken into consideration if you want to have a good time on Saturday.

  • Hydration – Pretty self explanatory. It’s also good for your skin and your liver. Turn your Camelback backpack into your best friend.

 

  • Pick-Pockets – The aptly (albeit derogatorily) named pungas (pickpocketers) have been in full swing in the past few years. The most common method for stealing stuff has been to cut a hole in people’s backpacks (especially the first pocket) when crowds get really congested. No really, you won’t even know. Before you know it, your Camelback is dead. So my advice: leave anything you may consider “precious” or “valuable” at home and guard your phone or camera like Susan Lucci does with her Emmy award.

 

  • Bumpin’ uglies – The statistic probability is notably higher that you will find someone to get down and dirty with on Saturday. Condoms and dental dams are typically aplenty, but it doesn’t hurt to stock up on some supplies. Also, friends don’t let friends get roofied. If someone is that desperate to get it on with someone they should just go to Energy Spa. Be on the look-out for creeps.

 

Now that that’s been taken care of, lets look at your options for some Saturday night fun. After all, that’s what you came here for. The following are totally not in any particular order.

 

  • nachiBrandon Gay Day – Niceto Club (Niceto Vega 5510.) Not really close to a Subte stop but the 39, 93, 151 and 168 buses will get you there. Brandon gets the number one spot for a few reasons. First, their line-up is ferocious – a mix of stellar DJ’s like Uopa Nachi and the seriously adorable Carisma. The second reason is that they’ve had the act together for a while (i.e. had a set line-up/plan.) This party is being thrown by Casa Brandon, a surprisingly hip LGBTQ center here in Buenos Aires. The vibe is about as cool and weird as it can get without making you feel like in a Christina Aguilera video. Super diverse crowd, and a solid option for both gays and lesbians. Free for everyone from 1:00 to 1:30 am if they have a flyer in hand (though they did mention you could show it on your phone too). Cover charge is 50 pesos, if you don’t make it before 1:30 am. Or forget the flyer.

 

  • 281833Eyeliner – Pte. Perón 1281 (special location for the day.) A few blocks from the Uruguay stop on the subte B Line and the Saenz Peña stop on the A Line. If you are looking to get a more indie/punk interpretation of pride the this is your place. And they open earlier than usual too! You can get there at 11 pm if lines aren’t your thing (they are expecting 1,800 people this Saturday.) Their line up is pretty rad too. In addition to their rockstar DJ’s (not to mention the coolest VJ in town) they are having this fierce betch perform. For those of you not in the know – Leo Garcia is part pop-composure part gay-political-badass. He came out a long time ago, and has been killing it ever since. Eyeliner’s mix of pop, punk, and cumbia is infectious, so this place is highly recommended. You get a drink at the door and the cover charge is $40 pesos before 1 am, $40 pesos after.) Don’t miss their jumbo-sized Fernet and Cola – get’er done.

 

  • 1395159_10152349202159046_142463783_nRheo – Studio Crobar is literally under the bridge located at Paseo de la Infanta Isabel & M. Freyre. Not the easiest of places to get to but paying for a taxi is well worth it because the venue is in the middle of Bosques de Palermo. So you definitely want to get a ride there. Rheo has carved a name out for itself by having some of the cutest dancers, best drag performers, and the most mainstream crowd (mostly dudes that work out and their straight gal pals.) They usually have one of the best floats but have decided to bypass the parade this year due to some alleged “red-tape” (do I smell some shade being thrown…?) All drama aside, I’ve been told that the Rheo Group is investing all the energy that would have gone into having a float into throwing a really good party (which I’m pretty sure just means the go-go boys get rainbow booty-shorts.) As of the publication of this article the price of admission had not been established. It usually falls within the $30 and $50 peso range, but it’s Pride and their dancers are cute (did I mention that already?) so be emotionally prepared to pay a little more.

 

  • buenos-aires-gay-pride-parade-2011Amerika – Gascon 1040, not far from the Medrano stop on the subway B Line or the 19, 24, 26, 36, 71, 92, 99, 106, 109, 124, 127, 128, 140, 151, 160 and 168 bus lines. OK, so this one’s a mixed bag. Amerika, like its namesake, has some pros and cons. Pros are it’s open bar, doors open at 6 pm right as pride starts to get boring, and comes in at a bargain at 130 pesos (remember open bar). This could very well be the perfect option for those of you with a drug problem who want to get the party started early. They also always have a killer float in the parade, and the fact that BA’s HIBC Hollywood will be on it is just icing on the cake/torta. That being said, this place has a habit of living up to its mediocre reputation. The music is fine, the crowd is underwhelming, and there is a darkroom… I’m not saying that it’s the gay version of Saw but I’m also NOT not saying that.

 

  • Sitges – Cordoba 4119. Buses 19, 26, 36, 39, 92, 99, 106, 109, 127, 140, 151, 160 and 168 will leave you close to it. This is a bar, and there are some drag queens (and apparently a show). Sometimes it’s good, and sometimes they give out free passes to Glam, another nightclub, but this has not been confirmed so don’t count on it. Also up in the air is what Glam is doing for Pride. I’d guess that they’d do something, and that it could even be fun, but in my book they lose points for not having their shit together two days before the event.

 

Now you have options, and the cool thing is that there’s a decent amount to choose from. I’ve done some of the research for you, but ultimately the night depends on you. Weigh some of the pros and cons, but go with the party that you think can wear your (figurative?) freak’em dress to. This is one of the only days a year that you get to be ridiculous and authentic. Leave being cool for the other 364 days.