In order to celebrate the recent appointment of “serial loser” Daniel Filmus as Secretary of Matters Relating to the Malvinas, The Telegraph decided to conduct an online poll and ask whether the Malvinas/Falkland Islands, at the center of a sovereignty dispute between Argentina and the United Kingdom since God said “let there be light,” should be British or Argentine.
And guess what: Argentina won by a landslide.
It’s interesting to see that The Telegraph, a center-right conservative publication in the UK, went through the trouble of translating the poll into Spanish as well, a decision that is certainly commendable, so points for that.
Anyway, as of 2:30 pm today, 70 percent of the people who took part in the poll (almost 20,000 votes) are in favor of the islands being Argentine and this is reason enough for the locals to celebrate. “In your face losers!” or something like that. I guess it’s too bad this poll has no scientific rigor or legitimacy, because otherwise we would be ready to be selling choripanes in Puerto Argentino before sunset.
Now, if these results make you scratch your head, fret not, because we reacted the exact same way. And since we have no idea of what’s happening here, we’ve come up with a list of possible scenarios to try to explain these awesome results:
- British people have finally understood that the islands belong to us so they are now, like, “whatever, just give them back so they can finally shut up about it.”
- Daniel Filmus is really effective at his job (unlikely).
- British people don’t really care about the islands, so they can’t be bothered with voting. Argentines, on the contrary, have very strong feelings for the Malvinas/Falklands cause, so they decided to vote en masse (actually, pretty likely.)
- System error.
Also, those 422 people who voted in favor of a shared sovereignty probably thought they were voting for Kim Kardashian for president.