Skip to main content

Macri’s Father Says He Is Proud of His Son Despite Elections Causing Him Internal Bleeding

By | [email protected] | March 8, 2016 1:07pm

Share

Speaking on TN last night, President Mauricio Macri’s father, Franco Macri, had some cute things to say about his son and provided listeners with a fascinating psychological portrait: “With all my heart, I didn’t want Mauricio to be President. But in my mind, I did. It was very complicated.” Good start.

The 85-year-old businessman explained that his son has “always been a very consistent person… He’s always open to listening and learning. He has always been by my side.”

It would appear, however, that Mac’s carebear side isn’t quite so apparent to everyone. Allegedly, Macri’s father received threats that his son would be murdered if he won. The stress of his son’s campaign may have played a part in a health emergency that resulted in Macri senior losing “80 percent of his blood,” he said.

(For the scientifically minded: it’s impossible to lose that quantity of blood and live, seeing how a Class 4 hemorrhage, the most severe in the hemorrhagic hierarchy, corresponds to 40 percent blood loss or more. If Franco Macri, at 85, managed to lose twice the lethal amount of blood and live to tell the tale, then I will both eat my socks and stop taking baby aspirin immediately. We can only assume that the gentleman received a prompt and successful transfusion, allowing him to continue to make hyperbolic statements indefinitely.)

39073

Macri Senior went on to explain how many moons ago, he voted for Néstor Kirchner. Don’t worry too much about that quick glitch in your worldview; he lived to regret it. “Since Arturo Frondizi and onwards,” he said, “our administrations have been destroying our country. We have had bad governments, but why do we not ask ourselves if we haven’t had good — great — entrepreneurs? We must lead the way. We haven’t been attracting valuable business, and it has resulted in disaster.” Apparently, he managed to solicit 10 billion in Chinese investment under Kirchner, who then proceeded to “table” the investment, leaving it entirely unused. At this point, Macri senior just barely skirts a below-the-belt blow to the late President, accurately dubbing him a “son of a… mother.”

“A country is a company,” said the senior. “The elements are all there, it’s the magnitude that changes. If you don’t know how to run a company, you don’t know how to run a country.” He didn’t say what that means for the guys over at the International Monetary Fund, but nation-wide casual Fridays would probably change everything.  

It would also appear that at one point, Franco and the Pontiff were thick as thieves. “Once a month, we would have lunch or dinner together. He always asked me about the mentality of the entrepreneurs… It was a pleasure and an honor.” Regarding the perceived coldness between Mauricio and the Pope, Franco explained that he simply did not know what the reason could be: “I know he is a great supporter of Mauricio’s.”

Where the faint of heart may choose to seek out licensed professionals, Mac has been quite open to discussing his dysfunctional relationship with his father in the press. When asked if the two enjoyed a good relationship, he responded that “it’s like there are two people in one: one of them loves me unconditionally, and the other doesn’t even know me… and boycotts me.”

We’re backing away as slowly and as quietly as possible.