December 11, 2017 was a sad day for Argentines. That fateful day, in the small Uruguayan town of Minas, over a 100 cooks achieved what seemed like an impossible feat: they made the largest asado ever, reaching the heights of Guinness fame in the process, dethroning none other than their neighboring big brother (who’d held the record since 2011).
It was a hard blow for Argentina, a nation that already had to handle missing out on the largest pizza in the world, a record held by the city of Rome. The country was left to boast the lame record of the largest candy mosaic in the world, whatever the hell that is. But, fortunately, I come today as the bearer of good news, as it has been announced that the city of Tandil will unveil the longest salami in the world this Saturday, February 9th. This piece of cured meat will measure even more than the city’s iconic monument, the Obelisco.
“Each year we aim to beat our own records,” explained Juan Echezarreta, the president of the Council of the Protected Designation of Origin of Salami of Tandil (yes, that is the actual name of an actual institution). He also added that it is “an initiative that reflects the shared commitment of local producers that join together to honor our ancestors.”
Every year, the Council (I’m calling it that from now on, to avoid laughs) helps organize El Festival de la Sierra, a massive event that features folklore music, dance and, of course, enough salami to fill Rome’s Coliseum. The main event has been, at least since 2014, the unveiling of the big salami, which reached 17 meters at that edition, growing to 21 in 2015, 28 in 2016, 25 in 2017, and the impressive 53.5 meters reached just last year.
As you might imagine, not many other challengers to the record have emerged in the past year, which is why the Council (still funny, I know) set its sights on another challenge, this time aiming to best the Obelisco’s own 68 meters, quite possibly the most emblematic structure in Buenos Aires. After its unveiling, the salami will obviously be eaten by the attendees. No word yet on how much beer is gonna be needed to chug that bad boy down, though.