Earlier this week, 12 of Argentina’s most talented chefs were recognized for something a little more frivolous (but no less important) than their knife skills. Those running the kitchens at some of the country’s best restaurants were the main course at what I can only describe as a beefcake banquet. At the launch event for La Lista Hot, the 2019 calendar putting these hunky cocineros front and center, everyone’s pheromones were in overdrive.
Ten years ago, vegetable producer Sueño Verde put out its first calendar. As one would expect, leafy greens and robust produce were the obvious stars of the show; this is also probably why no one even knew that the company made a calendar until now. Sorry kale, we love your sassy curls and your ability to stay tough no matter what, but I’m going to need something a little more… how do you say it? Sexy.
Enter Sorrel Moseley-Williams. The British journalist and sommelier had an idea brewing. Three years ago, she put her feelers out, asking fellow foodies to spill the tea on who their gastro crushes were (I definitely created an anonymous email explicitly for the purpose of sharing my submission). After compiling the data, a lightbulb went on that the project could evolve into something greater.
Ta-da! La Lista Hot was born. Photographed by the renowned Eduardo Torres, the delicious dozen tapped into their inner Fabios, shedding their kitchen whites for strategically placed arugula or surprisingly seductive green beans. Seriously, I would have incorporated vegetables into my diet a long time ago if these hotties were telling me to. Rounding out the dream team are Pato Katz, art director, and Silvina Reusmann, producer extraordinaire.
Before we go any further, for those of you that are going to @ me because “if someone tried to do this with female chefs, everyone would be pissed off and calling it anti-feminist,” first of all, women have been systematically objectified by men for hundreds of years. I’m definitely OK with turning the tables and seeing what all the fuss is about (spoiler alert: it’s fun!). Second, the chefs agreed to participate so it’s not like anyone was victim of some culinary casting couch.
Sorrel agrees. Speaking to Clarín, she said: “Living in Argentina, I’m tired of how women are portrayed in the press, the level of hypocrisy. You see women practically naked on the covers of magazines, but then [others] are arrested on the beach while they sunbathe topless. It’s nice to admire the male body for once.”
Because I’m a very serious journalist, I have spent many hours going over the material so you can drool accordingly from January through December. Read on to check out my personal top five.
Javier Rodríguez, El Papagayo
Everyone knows the cordobeses are the total fuegos of Argentina, right? I mean come on. They know how to throw a party, their accent is about 100 times cooler than a typical porteño‘s, and I feel like they’re just so damn confident that you can’t help but be attracted to them. Javier Rodríguez confirms my super-scientific hypothesis. While he’s not showing that much skin – less is more, angel – I’d happily watch him brood among those hongos any day.
Pedro Bargero, Chila
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Convocada para realizar la produccion y direccion de arte de este proyecto tan especial @lalistahot 2019 para @s.verde. Gracias ! Sorrel Moseley – Williams @sorrelita, Agustin Benito @s.verde y Eduardo Torres @etorresfotografia Me diverti montones y conoci gente maravillosa. ? Gracias por tanta buena onda Cocineros hot 2019! Mes: Mayo Modelo: @pedrobargero. Ph: @etorresfotografia Dc: @sorrelita @s.verde Arte: @patokatz – Af: @joacotorres Dg: @ezequielalbanell Rd: @inestemperley Pe: @sreusmann. https://www.clarin.com/sociedad/calendario-hot-cocineros-lindos-pais_0_YqWo4TABm.html
You’ve gotta give Pedro props. He’s literally poised on a bed of baby vegetables and leafy greens, leaving *very* little to the imagination in this “Argentine Adonis” fantasy. His Roman nose and big muscles are giving me mythological macho realness, and I’m definitely buying what he is selling. He gets extra points for being the chef who had the most fun with it. I mean, come on. We all know that next year everyone’s going to be fighting to up the wow factor. Pedro, we see you.
Christian Petersen, Los Peterson Cocineros
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@cmppetersen , Calendario 2019, @lalistahot . Hermoso proyecto junto a @sorrelita para @s.verde PA @patokatz RD @inestemperley AF @joacotorres DG @ezequiellassalle Producción @sreusmann Gracias a todos los que nos apoyaron !!! @cortecarniceria @findelmundowines @hongosporto @zuelovirgenextra @lagranjitadehonduras @nardacomedor El calendario estará a la venta en varios de los restaurantes de los cocineros participantes , en la página de Sueño Verde y en mi tienda online.com. Parte de lo recaudado será donado para apoyar la participación del equipo argentino en el Bocuse D’or liderado por @emischobert .
Hello, zaddy! I clearly have a weakness for the silver fox genre, so Christian Petersen was an obvious choice. Also, can we please discuss this shoulder definition? Surely carrying that giant rack of meat is doing a body good. This is a man who clearly knows what he’s doing, and I am here for it. That’s all.
Lele Cristobal, Café San Juan
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@lelecristobal de @cafesanjuanoficial , Calendario 2019, @lalistahot . Hermoso proyecto junto a @sorrelita para @s.verde PA @patokatz RD @inestemperley AF @joacotorres DG @ezequiellassalle Producción @sreusmann Gracias a todos los que nos apoyaron !!! @cortecarniceria @findelmundowines @hongosporto @zuelovirgenextra @lagranjitadehonduras @nardacomedor El calendario estará a la venta en varios de los restaurantes de los cocineros participantes , en la página de Sueño Verde y en mi tienda online.com. Parte de lo recaudado será donado para apoyar la participación del equipo argentino en el Bocuse D’or liderado por @emischobert .
Lele is the bad boy that you don’t want to bring home to meet your parents so you just furiously make out with him in your car two blocks down the street from your house until your mouth is raw. He’s rough around the edges, he’s covered in tattoos, he’s seen some shit. No matter if you’re from some perfectly manicured, vanilla barrio cerrado, when you dream about Lele, you’re zooming through the city on the back of his motorcycle (does he even own one? Irrelevant) as you head off to some cool underground bar in a nondescript part of town. You take up smoking, and drinking whiskey for breakfast. This is who you are now, girl.
Martín Molteni, Pura Tierra
Never in my life have I wanted to be a green bean so much as I did at the moment I saw this photo. Is it the bicep? The crazy-intense bedroom eyes? That giant stock pot that I wish I owned so I could make bone broth en cantidad? Honestly, I think I blacked out a little bit. Martín has some steamy secrets up his sleeve, and I’d like to find out a little (OK, a lot) more about that.
Shout-out to the remaining seven babes, who put their best foot forward and made us want to become 100 percent vegetarian: Germán Martitegui (Tegui), Germán Torres (Salvaje Bakery), Tomás Kalika (Mishiguene), Fernando Mayoral (Club de Cocina), Germán Stitz (La Carnicería), Pablo Rivero (Don Julio), and Pablo del Río (Siete Cocinas, Mendoza).
Has reading about sexy men who know how to make more than plain pasta with cheese revved your engine? Luckily you can get your paws on the action. Pick up your copy of La Lista Hot online via Tienda Nube. It will cost you AR $800, and a portion of the proceeds goes toward the noble mission of getting Emiliano Schobert, Argentina’s representative at Bocuse d’Or, to Lyon, France for the the biennial global chef’s championship in February 2019.
Stay tuned for next year, and start keeping tabs on who you’d vote for, given the chance.