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How Dare He: Mark Zuckerberg Wants Facebook To Celebrate Friend Day In February

By | [email protected] | July 20, 2016 12:26pm

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Today is Friend Day here in Argentina and in the rest of the civilized world. July 20th was designated such by the United Nations and has given us an excuse to go out to dinner with our homies and tell them how much we love and appreciate their presence in our lives. However, as reported by indignant local media today, Mark Zuckerberg would like the world to celebrate Friend Day on February 4th, the day Facebook was launched. Not cool Zuckerberg, we already have our parilla reservations.

In a Facebook post on January 12th this year, Zuckerberg declared the day to be “friends day,” just like that. “On February 4, I hope you’ll join me in celebrating #friendsday.” He explained that his intention in creating the site was to unite the students of his university and that now, “The acts of friendship, love and kindness we all share on Facebook are changing the world every day in ways we can’t fully measure.”

Those are sweet words, Zuckerberg, but some things can be measured and according to a study done by the University of Oxford, few Facebook users would actually turn to their online friends in times of need. Of the tens or hundreds or thousands of friends that users have on Facebook, the study claims that less than 3 percent are dependable and less then 10 percent would be there for support in times of crisis.

If you’re not from Argentina and you’re thinking about telling us to relax and celebrate our friends on February 4th instead, think twice. 80 percent of Argentines celebrate Friends Day and we had it first, Facebook.

The day was inaugurated in 1972 and was conceived by Enrique Ernesto Febbraro, former DJ turned professor turned dentist who was inspired by the lunar landing — or something like that.

Whatever the case, take a moment or two today to serenade your besties and to tell them how much you appreciate them before Mark Zuckerberg takes this day away from us.

(Today is not to be confused with celebrating your favorite TV sitcom).