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Here’s All You Need To Know About Today’s PASO Elections

By | [email protected] | August 11, 2013 12:22pm

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  • You don’t get to vote because you’re a foreigner.

That is all.

Haha. No, I’m kidding. But seriously now, foreigners are not allowed to vote in national elections unless they legally become Argentine citizens. So if you want to vote for president, vice-president, senators and lawmakers, you need to become an Argentine and get your little blue DNI. Foreigners only get to vote (if they wish) in provincial and municipal elections, but it all depends on the local legislation and sometimes you even need to register before you get to vote.

Regarding today’s elections, you’re not missing much because they are just the primaries. Today every major party picks their leading candidate, which is hilarious because most parties have only one major candidate. So the PASO (Primarias abiertas, simultaneas y obligatorias) elections are just a glorified referendum that functions as a mock midterm election.

Whoever gets the most votes today will probably get most of the votes in the October midterms. Unless there’s a sex tape involved or the candidate is caught on camera waving the American flag.

So there. That’s all. Go back to your brunch with friends. And now when someone asks about your favorite candidate, you can just say that you don’t care about these elections because they are “not really relevant,” effectively hiding the fact that you had no idea about who was running for what.

More updates later.