Skip to main content

Cristina’s Back In Buenos Aires: Refuses To Be Our Dancing Queen

By | [email protected] | July 4, 2016 2:23pm


Former President Cristina Fernández de Kirchner has once again returned to the City of Buenos Aires, but this time, she won’t be dancing because of the rain and the economy. Well, in the words of Drake, “That’s why I need a one dance.” Paging Ren McCormack: Buenos Aires is throwing the gift of the dance back in your faceagain.

The ex head of state arrived at Aeroparque to hordes of supporters chanting and singing for her this weekend. They followed her all the way back to her apartment in Recoleta where the throngs amassed. Cristina appeared in the doorway to speak I am fairly certain directly to me because she wants to ruin my nascent career as a Cristina dance impersonator with her supporters, delivering the devastating news: “I would like to thank you for all the endurance and support. I am not going to go out on the balcony to dance because people have too many problems to be dancing.”

She was making reference to her last appearance in the capital in April, when she made headlines for dancing on her balcony as her security guards held her up. Some yanqui with little forethought or concern for her future career or the Google search function later made a viral video.

CFK encouraged the crowds to go home, voicing her concerns about the rain. “I don’t want anyone to get sick. Tomorrow if the weather is better, come.” Right then, I guess the words “singing in the rain” meant nothing to her. I will just leave this here for her perusal. I’ll wait. It’s really not a problem, I’ve brought my tap shoes to Argentina.

Cristina will be testifying once again at the Comodoro Py Courthouse in the future dollars case she is implicated in. She has maintained her innocence and has taken the opportunity to lambast the current administration for using her charges as a way to distract Argentines from the country’s current economic woes.

Before going back inside to shelter from the aforementioned rain, Cristina reassured us that, “We’re going to be seeing, communicating in different spaces.” Spaces like a balcony. Outside Comodoro Py. Maybe the roof of her armored car. I don’t know, lean all the way in. So fear not, people of BA, we will all be tangoing under the Obelisco with Cris in no time. Bring your own Fernet and umbrella because in case you have not noticed, it’s raining.