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Chávez Comes Back in Bird Form, Maduro Claims

By | [email protected] | April 3, 2013 6:21pm

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Nicolás Maduro, interim president of Venezuela and presidential candidate as if these positions were not in conflict, continues to prove a theory of mine: there’s nothing more twee than a communist. The death of his mentor and superior, Hugo Chávez, has done nothing but increasing this annoying feature even though he can’t believe his luck and it shows: he gets to be the boss for a change! (YAY!) Let’s take a closer look at his last Disney Princess moment, shall we?

  • A few days ago Maduro was cheerfully tearfully praying at a chapel in Chávez home state, when a little birdie approached him.
  • It flew over him thrice and sang a tune, he sang back, the birdie stared at him oddly, then flew over him once again before it got lost.
  • At this point Maduro is convinced that Hugo Chávez incarnated in the birdie to grant him his blessing for the upcoming campaign, or so he says to arouse popular fervour. We’ll just believe him and call him crazy.
  • Since the whole tale was not ridiculous enough, he dared to include some sound effects of his own, while he was at it.
  • When the LSD’s effect wore off he played the victim claiming the evil media made fun of him after he shared a very personal and touching experience with the people.

Venezuela. The land in which magical realism makes Macondo look like Tokyo.