We have all been there. It happened last night to an anonymous friend of mine we’ll call Talia. She was swiping. Left more than right. So much so that the motion became second nature to her thumb. “Nope, nope, nope, oh you’re cute but nope, nope… no-NO! I MEANT YES! £$%@@*§@@@@##^[email protected]#%**&^%@@!”
There and then, gone forever in less time than it took Ezequiel to ask for her Whatsapp, she swiped left on Facundo. She messed up. He could have been the one. Facundo with his bright blue eyes and his flexed muscles, could have been her Argentine number 1. “Do I upgrade?” No. Can’t afford morning medialunas so certainly can’t afford Tinder Plus.
This is why we need to focus. Let’s try again.
Swipe, swipe, swipe. Ooh (let’s call him Tomas), hello there. Tap. You swipe through the photos, you like what you see. Swipe right. “It’s a match!” He’ll message you first. You chat. He’s funny. All is going well. He is bound to ask you on a date. But you make a snarky comment with that British humour of yours. He doesn’t get it. Curses you, deletes you, blocks you. The histerico.
Any other sane being would have understood that Tomas was overreacting and was not worth your time. “Ok then, chau.” Not this girl though. No, no, following a similar scenario, Eugenia, who had been getting to know Luis virtually since April 18th until he removed her from his list of Tinder matches, decided that the best way to get her could-be romance back with the lad was by plastering his face with a message, as one would with a lost cat, all over Palermo.
“Luis… I need to apologize to you personally. Give me the opportunity to do it and show you that you mean something to me. Help me contact you.”
Speaking to Minutouno, Eugenia said that she wasn’t just attracted to him physically, “I was attracted to what I knew of him, his personality, the way he treated me… I know that it was only a short period of time but he made me feel beautiful things, he made me feel special.” Bow down, chamuyero. You did good.
He had told her that he is a journalist. It was one of the first things he had said. Good technique Luis, I do it too. Alas, she did not have his Facebook, nor his Whatsapp so had no way of stalking him. Drastic times call for drastic measures.
“I am looking for him primarily to apologize and then it is up to him to see whether he wants to forgive me and keep getting to know me. But I just want to say I’m sorry.” Cue in Justin Bieber joke. No but really, this time I think it’s too late.
Suerte, Eugenia. I’m sure Luis has seen your message by now. If he hasn’t responded just remember there are more fish in the sea. Just keep swiping.