Remember 2010 classic Valentine's Day? (Photo via The Daily Beast)

Yay, it’s Valentine’s Day.

Couples, just be thankful you don’t look like a single loser. Singletons, you have two options – re-watching ‘The Notebook’ on repeat or bossing a night out with all your other single pals not giving a sh*t that it’s a Wednesday night and you may actually have to function come Thursday morning.

Whether you’re all loved up or single and free (more likely somewhere confusingly in between), Valentine’s Day always seems to provoke a knee jerk love/hate reaction among most.

Usually along the lines of, ‘I hate this commercial cr*p’ or ‘It’s the most romantic day of the year,’ we all have friends sitting in both camps. Whichever line you take, the day will unavoidably be here come Wednesday next week, so yeah, you have six days to find a date or be forever alone.

Expectations of Valetine's Day are not often the reality. (Photo via Fox News)
Expectations of Valetine’s Day are not often the reality. (Photo via Fox News)

 

If you’re desperately trying to think of a way to feel less sad and single, or panicking that you haven’t made any kind of reservation for your expectant date, we’ve come up with a few ideas for all you love birds as well as for you independent singletons.

SO YOU HATE VALENTINE’S DAY AND YOU’RE VERY UNROMANTIC

Honestly, you’re probably going to sit this one out.

If you’re single, why spend the whole night dodging loved up couples wherever you pass? Or maybe you’re in a couple but can’t be bothered to go out on a Wednesday night – we feel you. But hear us out, we have a solution for you both.

Tuesday, February 13th will see an Anti Valentine’s Day party, taking place at Growlers, at their Caballito and Palermo locations. Get there for 6 PM to take advantage of an extended happy hour lasting until 10 PM with all beers priced at AR $70, grab a couple of ‘unromantic’ pints and listen to the live music they’re putting on.

For an anti - Valentine's Day event Growlers could look quite romantic. (Photo via femeninas)
For an anti – Valentine’s Day event, Growlers could look quite romantic. (Photo via femeninas)

YOU’RE SINGLE BUT DON’T WANT TO MISS OUT ON ANY V-DAY ACTION

You’re free, independent, single, and loving it.

We applaud you (and so does Beyoncé, so you must be doing something right!). Relationships are overrated anyway, right? Only thing is this, all this talk of Saint Valentine is making you feel a little left out…

Fear not, Middle Eastern fusion gastropub Benaim (Palermo) is planning a night for all you sexy solteros looking to hang out with your other single buddies and possibly meet a certain someone. With its informal small plates ideal for sharing, exposed brick walls and garland lighting, Benaim is the ultimate antidote to Valentine’s Day pressures.

Sugar indulgence is also an excellent option. Bury your single sorrows in a sickeningly sweet pink sugar style binge. MADA patisserie (Belgrano) is offering San Valentín themed macarons in boxes of eight (AR $240) or twelve (AR $360).

In my view, go big or stay home, right?

I can taste the sugar from over here. (Photo via cocinarg)
I can taste the sugar from over here. (Photo via cocinarg)

 

ARE YOU SINGLE? ARE YOU EXCLUSIVE? WHO KNOWS! (THANK YOU, TINDER AND MODERN DATING)

You’ve been saliendo/hanging out (equally vague in Spanish and in English, great!) for the last couple of months. You kind of like each other, but the lines are a little blurred over what kind of relationship this actually is. Suddenly, Valentine’s Day comes along and this is where it gets totally awks.

Do you go all out and declare your undying love over a romantic dinner of oysters (probably not advisable – just saying) or do you just completely ignore February 14 and pretend it doesn’t exist?

We say go for something in the middle. Hell’s Pizza (Palermo Hollywood) is offering a pizza (no surprises there) dinner (including alcohol and desert – thank god) for AR $500.

Williamsburg (Palermo), home of the (so called) best burgers in Buenos Aires, a pretty bold statement, will be offering budget-friendly burger and fries combinations for AR $250. The best part? There’s something for everyone: head to their original spot on Armenia if you’re coupled up, or their newest locale in Los Arcos (near Avenida del Libertador) if you’re single and looking to mingle.

The best burger in Buenos Aires? (Photo via Clarín)
The best burger in Buenos Aires? (Photo via Clarín)
YOU’RE IN A RELATIONSHIP BUT DEFINITELY AREN’T READY TO PUT A RING ON IT

Well, congratulations. You’ve actually managed to find yourself in a grown up, exclusive relationship. You’re doing better than most of us.

Only downside is, you now have to make an effort for the most over-priced, over-commercialized, cringe day of the year. Yay. But wait a sec, you haven’t even discussed getting a dog together yet so you can’t be that serious, so let’s take a breather here and talk options.

If you like food, (don’t we all?) we have some solutions to make the day more than bearable. Travel to Peru (menu-wise, location wise it’s still in Capital). Puerta del Inca (San Telmo) will greet you with a glass of sparkling rosé, followed by a set menu of Peruvian staples like ceviche and lomo salteado. For AR $750 per person it’s a treat but doesn’t require a full emptying of the wallet. Even better, the menu is on for a whole week, so if you can’t bear the thought of sitting in a room full of smug couples with puppy-dog eyes, head there any other night between the 13th and 21st.

The bar at Puerta del Inca. (Photo via Guía Oleo)
The bar at Puerta del Inca. (Photo via Guía Oleo)

 

At this stage you should be comfortable eating in front of each other, so any dodgy chopstick skills shouldn’t be an issue. Head to Osaka (Palermo Hollywood) for an ‘awakening of the senses.’ Selections of ceviche, nigiris and tiraditos will be served alongside treatsy special editions of octopus and other Nikkei delights. Just bear in mind that in the same way a ticket to Peru wouldn’t cost the same as one to Japan, so will the price range of the menu differ too (oh sushi, why are you so delicious and expensive?).

Nothing is more awkward than fumbling with chopsticks in front of your date. (Photo via Los Arys)
Nothing is more awkward than fumbling with chopsticks in front of your date. (Photo via Los Arys)

 

YOU’RE JUST MARRIED AND ARE IN THE HONEYMOON STAGE

You love each other, you’re made for each other, and this Valentine’s Day you’re ready to splash the cash to show the world your love is everlasting.

High class restaurant Crizia (Palermo Soho) is offering up a five course menu, complete with wine pairings. Courses include aphrodisiac oysters (not that you need any help on that front, you love birds!) along with other seafood, Patagonian lamb, and a tasting of mini patisserie, all for the princely sum of AR $1,600. If it’s seafood you’re into, powerhouse La Mar Cebichería (Palermo Hollywood) is offering seafood plates to share, along with whole fish orders, with an estimated cost per person of AR $800.

La Mar Cebicheria (Photo via pick up the fork)
La Mar Cebicheria (Photo via pickupthefork.com)

 

YOU’RE MARRIED, HAVE A DOG, HAVE SETTLED DOWN IN ZONA NORTE AND NEED TO PROVE TO YOUR PARTNER YOU’RE STILL AS IN LOVE WITH THEM AS BEFORE

No longer in the throes of passion, you love each other of course, but things could do with a little spicing up.

Valentine’s Day, with its impeccable timing, has brought you an opportunity to give your partner some special pampering. Foodie favorite Alo’s (San Isidro) is offering a six course tasting menu, including treats such as oysters and venison. Beautifully presented, and sure to ignite some of that loving feeling, this high class treat will cost you AR $1,600.

If this doesn’t tempt you, you’re in the mood for Asian cuisine, and can never decide what to order, head to Captain Cook (Martínez) for a mix of Southern Asian fusion. Expect classics such a prawn tempura, dim sum, and Vietnamese spring rolls.

Bistro vibes at Alo's. (Photo via pick up the fork)
Bistro vibes at Alo’s. (Photo via pickupthefork.com)

 

Valentine’s Day lovers and haters alike, be sure to make your reservations soon, so you don’t risk missing out. And never forget the eternal and always valid Plan B to any social outing: Netflix & wine – we won’t judge.