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Ah, the weekend. Either a sinister ordering of time to ensure that we are well-rested for the working week (thanks, Adorno), the creation of ‘free time’ for capitalism to monetise with concerts and eating-out and entertainment (thanks again, Adorno), or the moment in which we throw off our shackles and become our true selves. I’ll go with the latter, if only because this cage is so well padded out and my water feeder has just enough water. And, anyway, it could be worse: the French Revolutionary Calendar had ten-day weeks with one day weekends.

Friday 17th

Love

Photo by Ben Lamberty
Photo by Ben Lamberty

As Indio Solari sung and one or two neo-peronists recited/painted on a wall, If there isn’t love, may there not be anything! Amor o Nada (Love or nothing) Festival will be warming the cockles of your heart this Friday night at the Club Cultural Matienzo. Pitched as a people’s love festival (as opposed to the love of imperialists or bourgeoisie!), Amor o Nada will offer live music and performance, erotic poetry, speed dating, karaoke, BDSM, a space in which to graffiti the memorabilia of past relationships, Elvis’s wedding, and 2 for 1 at the bar in exchange for a kiss. Prep your feet and open your heart for a night of grooving and smooching.

10pm | AR $110 | Buy tickets | Pringles 1249 (and Av. Córdoba)

Poetry

The night sky, ruby-red wine, and the magic of the spoken word – is there anything better to shatter the torpor of the working week? The Cultural Memory Centre Haroldo Conti – once the ESMA detention center and now an artistic and reflective space open to the whole argentine community- will be holding another one of its wildly popular Poetry on the Terrace evenings this Friday at 7pm. Expect phonic revelations from Nurit Kasztelan, Elizabeth Molver, Sebastián Morfes, Alicia Silva Rey and Ezequiel Vila.

7pm | Free | Centro Cultural De La Memoria Haroldo Conti | Av del Libertador 8151

Classical Piano

James Rhodes. Photo Credit: The Guardian
James Rhodes. Photo Credit: The Guardian

“The wild man of the keyboard”, Englishman James Rhodes, will be tickling the ivories this Friday night at the Usina del Arte. It will not be a staid or traditional affair; rather, Rhodes will break up his fiery, poetic playing to tell stories and wax lyrical on his favourite composers (Bach apparently “saved” his life.) Rhodes is very vibrant, very creative and very famous – he has released five CDs, all of which went to number 1 on iTunes, a couple of books, and played all over the world. The setting, Usina del Arte, is a cavernous electrical power plant-turned-arts venue in La Boca. Arrive two hours early to get your hands on two free tickets per person.

8pm | Free | Usina del Arte | Agustin Caffarena 1, cnr AV. Pedro de Mendoza. La Boca| Watch a video of Rhodes playing here

Eat

galletitas

Delicias de Alicia will be hosting their first dinner of the year this Friday night. This is a convivial, nourishing affair, and it’s all for a good cause – 100% of the profits from this ‘closed door’ vegetarian restaurant go towards hosting nutrition and cooking classes for kids living in marginalized communities. Upon arrival at the elegant San Telmo house, guests are greeted with a champagne cocktail and crostini, before clustering around the same table for a three-course vegetarian meal. Food for the soul, heart and mind.

AR $350 (100% goes towards hosting workshops for kids) | Message ‘Delicias de Alicia’ for further details

Tango

Tango must be free. We must release it, expand it…We have to demystify tango so that it can become deep and true, not superficial. It’s about democratising our culture for everyone. Paulina Fain, Tango Sin Fin.

Since 2014, Tango Sinfin has been organizing their now famous one week tango course,”Tango For Musicians”  (Tango Para Musicos), which aims to equip musos from all over the world with the skills to go forth and rend hearts with the elegantly jagged strains of tango. This Friday through Sunday, we can enjoy the fruits of their labors with three days of free concerts, classes and milongas at the Centro Cultural Kirchner. Some of the most famous contemporary orchestras will be in attendance – think the Orquesta Típicia Julián Peralta, Ramiro Gallo Nuevo Quinteto, Diego Schissi Quinteto, Escalandrum, Agustín Guerrero Quinteto and El Arranque. There will also be the ‘grand final’ of the Tango world cup, with the top ten orchestras from all over the world competing on Sunday. Friday kicks off at 7:30pm in the Sala Argentina with 16 tango ensembles playing live. At 8:30, there will be a grand ensemble in the Sala Sinfónica. Tickets are free and can be booked online.

7:30pm | Free Entry But Book Online | CCK, Sarmiento 151

Saturday 18th

“Castration”

No, this is not a response to rumors of a “Chotazo in the Obelisco”. This is, in fact, a fantastic opportunity to get your dog or cat spayed for a low-cost in Quilmes. Make sure your pet fasts for 12 hours, is wearing his or her collar and leash, and you have your own form of transport. Be a good citizen. WhatsApp questions or bookings 1164909617 Micaela or 1168924771 Paola.

8am-11am | Adopcion Quilmes, Cnr Rivadavia and Alvear (Quilmes) | Expected Prices | Facebook Event Page

Script Writing Course

At a time when the world has never been so uncertain, find flow and joy in the act of creation. This Saturday, from 10am to 6pm, writer and director, Edgardo González Amer, will be hosting an intensive introduction to script writing course. This seminar is a mix of theory and practice, and is perfect for those keen to put pen to paper (or finger to binary) as soon as possible. Like Quentin Tarantino, Alfred Hitchcock, Aaron Sorkin, and Akira Kurosawa before you, go forth and write.

10am-6pm | More info available on request | Juana Azurduy 2792,  Nuñez

Cumbia

cumbia villera

Deliver your hips over to the deliciously insistent cumbia beat this Saturday night at Fiesta D-lirante, the melding of infamous parties ‘La Magica’ and ‘Clandestina’. Ancient cumbia maestros from Santa Fe, Los del Fuego (famous for that exquisite, heart-achey song ‘Jurabas tu‘, with the chorus, Where is your  love, the love you promised me?) and Big Band Cumbia will be pouring joy, contentment and good times into the hearts of all cumbieras. Open bar with beer and mojitos until 2am (don’t be Australian about it though, you’re there for a good time, not to a vomit-filled, shameful one) as well as “passion without censorship” and “fun without limits”.

11:30pm | Entry free until 1am if you follow these steps | Palermo Club | Borges 2450

Beer

François Louis Jaques Paysans fribourgeois au bistrot, from Wikipedia
François Louis Jaques Paysans fribourgeois au bistrot, from Wikipedia

Beer: you probably like it. It is, after all, the third most popular drink in the world, after water and tea, and even possibly linked to the rise of civilization. Celebrate this fact at a Carnaval Edition Beer Festival this Friday night at W bar. There will be live music, murgas, DJs and batucadas (a kind of samba) for your entertainment, and homemade pizzas and hamburgers for your bellies. And beer.

6pm-3am | W Bar | Lavalleja 1343, between Cabrera & Gorriti | Facebook

Wine

Learn how to make your own wine at Acha club.  This course is a blend of theory and practice, and promises to equip you with the vocabulary, background and know-how to transmogrify into that most beloved of stock characters: the wine snob. You don’t need to know a thing about wine – this course is open to all and sundry. Expect crisp notes, a heady bouquet, and a knock-out body.

10am-6pm | Tickets | Acha Club | Mariano Acha 2771 | More info

Music

La Familia de Ukuleles formed in mid 2012 and they've been pickin' and strummin' their way all over Buenos Aires since then
La Familia de Ukuleles formed in mid 2012.

Acoustic sextet (try saying that three times), La Familia De Ukuleles will be strumming sweet, twangy delights into the ears of listeners this Saturday night at Santos 4040. With a wide-ranging repertoire of compositions – everything  from 1920s Hawaiian swing to 50s bolero and calypso – La Familia describes itself as a “mini orchestra,” and treats their music with the seriousness of one, while keeping things fresh and fun.

9:30pm | Early bird AR $150, or AR $180 | Santos Dumont 4040

Music

Chicha y Limonada is a new and refreshing music experience from Ciudad Cultural Konex. Playing this week is street ska-outfit, Pollera Pantalon, whose music is a happy and eclectic blend of ska, funk, cumbia, chacarera, jazz, rock and electro-tango (check out this video for proof that their music really is a blend of all these things), as well as Pecera, Rumbo Tumba (think Andes wind instruments and charangos blended with the slow urban energy of deep, groovy drum machines) and “earthy” music project, Sentime Dominga. Go enjoy the final weeks of summer with the very best in new argentine music.

12pm | From AR $180 | Ciudad Cultural Konex, Sarmiento 3131 | Tickets

Sunday 19th

Walking tour +  mate

Buenos Aires is for walking. Argentina is for drinking mate. Sunday is for friends. Join Viajecito for a free walking tour of the Recoleta cemetery and its surrounds. They will bring the mate and the hot water, you just need to take your ganas to chat in English and Spanish and something to eat. This is a free activity, but you must book beforehand by sending your name, contact details and nationality to viajecitomdq@gmail.com

2:30pm | Free | Meet outside Recoleta Cemetery, Junín 1873 | More details

Tattoos

VTF_INT.indd

Do two ‘crazy’ things this Sunday by leaving Capital Federal and getting that tattoo you’ve always dreamed of. Expo & Flash Tattoo Day offers those keen to get inked the opportunity to finally do so at an affordable price. You pick a design you  like, and they tattoo you on the spot, all on a balmy afternoon amongst tattoo artists, friends and musos. Así De Fácil. At the intimidatingly hip Bombay Streaming Bar in Morón Partido. Questions or reservations: 39697853.

4pm-2am |Bombay Streaming Bar, Buenos Aires 583, Castelar (Morón Partido)

Cine Noir

The  darkest gold of the golden age of Hollywood cinema was reserved for Cine Noir. Femme fatales, husky, hard-boiled men, shadows that drip with intrigue and suspense. This Sunday, Salas Caras y Caratas will be offering a double screening from this classic genre, with Light and DarkUnmissable classics of Cine Noir. At 6pm, Scarlet Street by Fritz Lang with infuse the theatre with its strange, perverted vapours (how much can one man lose himself in the beauty of a woman?), before the lushest noir of them all, Gilda, beguiles viewers with its blend of sex, aesthetics and Rita Hayworth. Enjoy a classic and a rare treasure of the genre.

6pm & 8pm |AR $60 | Buy tickets | Salas Caras y Caratas, Sarmiento 2037