Cristina’s practically filming in her own reality television show, Argentina and Chile are acting like best friends, the US is cozying up to Russia and Trump is still Trump. In short, it’s life on Planet Earth, and it’s weirder, more fluid and more uncertain than ever. Maybe we’ll stage a revolution or unleash an apocalypse on Monday, but until then there’s the weekend, and all the star-gazing, foot-tapping and beer-swilling that two days and three nights al pedo offer.

Friday 10th February

Conversation

In a country where even the act of breathing is politicised, small talk is a necessary skill (what else do you when you just can’t manage another four hour debate on whether or not Perón was a good thing for the country?) “Learn the art of talking about nothing” with the Boludo Academy this Friday afternoon, at their Conversation Workshop in Palermo.

3-4pm| Ar $320 | More Information Here

Be A Film Extra + Party

penelope

Provide some sophisticated grungy realism to the film ‘Penelope‘ at Cocoliche club this Friday night, by lending your “background artist” skills to a nightclub scene. Extras will be meeting at 10pm. Once the filming finishes, it’ll be like any other night in one of the Buenos Aires’ truest and best-loved boliches, with a psychedelic party kicking off at 12, all courtesy of local electronic musos Dintun, Bonesso, Gulp and Adba. You were going to go out anyway so you as may well run the risk of becoming (slightly) famous.

10pm (Filming) 12pm-7am (Party!) | Cocoliche | Rivadavia 878

Real Tango

quinteto real

Quinteto Real is the oldest and most prestigious tango outfit going around. Formed in 1960 by Horacio Salgán, it has seen some of the most important tangueros pass through its ranks, including Leopoldo Federico, Antonio Agri and Nestor Marconi. And lucky for you it lives and breathes still. Meanwhile, Café Vinilo is an institution in Palermo, a place to drink coffee, eat cake and enjoy the finest in Argentine tango, folklore and jazz music. The pairing of this legendary tango quintet and beloved coffee house is an opportunity too good to be missed. So don’t miss it.

9pm | AR $300 | Cafe Vinilo | Gorriti 3780

Electric Nights

Lngchps will be offering electrical compositions, live art, compositions and keyboards at Electric Nights
Lngchps will be offering electrical compositions, live art, compositions and keyboards at Electric Nights

Shock all your senses with Electric Nights at Espacio Rojo. Art, music, sound, words, craft beer, and veggie hamburgers in one of the city’s cheaper, cooler cultural centres. DJs, VJs, and other multitalented artistic folk. Entry is a la gorra (pay as you feel).

9pm-12pm | Entry ‘a la gorra’ | Direction via email

Saturday 11th February

Film

charly_garcia_by_makm-d57kpny

One hot summer’s night back in 1994, a young argentine film student spent the night with rock god Charly García at his legendary music studio on the corner of Fitz Roy and Córdoba. The result is “Life Without You – A Night With Charly García“, a rockumentary that immortalizes one of Argentina’s most iconic rock stars, a man who once said to Bruce “The Boss” Springsteen, “acá el jefe soy yo” (I’m the boss here). It will be playing for free this Saturday night in the Rosedal park. There will be food stalls and stands, though viewers are also welcome to bring a picnic basket or deck chair. Go. Alongside Borges, Charly is a cultural reference that all people interested in Argentina must have. And the Rosedal park is one of the loveliest places in the city.

8:30pm | Free Entry | Parque Rosedal (Avenidas Infanta Isabel and Iraola)

Vegan Night Festival

vegan

If you like your fiesta cruelty-free, sustainable, delicious and lovingly crafted from the finest of mother nature’s bounty, then Club Seitan might just be for your. This vegan night festival aims to prove that the vegan diet offers so much more than lettuce leaves and carrots. Party like a vegan from 9pm till 3am at the Conventillo Cultural Centre, in the heart of Abasto. Leave on a cloud of plant proteins and crinkly kale leaves.

9pm-3am| AR $50 Entry | Dr Tomás Manuel de Anchorena 575

Stand-up Comedy

#YoNerd (#INerd) is a funny, rational, absurd, silly, human-all-too-human comedy show from one of Argentina’s big up and comer comedians, Pablo Molinari. “A different kind of show” – one that is multimedia, interdisciplinary and edifying – #YoNerd will be tickling your underarms this Saturday night at Teatro Border.

11pm | AR $150 | Tickets | Border Teatro – Godoy Cruz 1838

Multisensory Party

Ears to listen with, a tongue to taste, and skin to feel. Delight all your senses this Saturday night at a “Multisensory Concert” in quaint and crumbly San Telmo. “Travellers” will be taken on journey into the “most remote intricate part of their mind,” with sound you can feel from Hala Ken Music, aromatherapy from God Bless You, and food from Mamá Manga. And it all takes place in the bible-black darkness.

AR $250 (includes a tasting menu) | Buy tickets

Paint Yourself On The Dance Floor

paint

Put on a white-shirt, set your creative juices to high and enjoy the unique atmosphere of the Frameless Canvas party. There will be red, blue, green and yellow paint for your whites, and a surprise later in the night. Music is a fizzy-blend of funk, disco, soul and Hip-Hop. Sounds like fun to ‘dye’ for. jaja.

10pm | Palermo | Email for more information

Sunday 12th February

Carnival Porteño Style

carnaval

Eat, drink, dance and lose your sense of individuality in a multitude of color and confetti! Yes, it’s carnival, that topsy-turvy month when people wear masks and dance to drums on the street. Each weekend, various barrios throughout the city will play host to their own mini-carnivals, with dancing (tango, folklore, cumbia, salsa), raffles, and prize-giving. Almagro, San Telmo, Villa Crespo, Saavedra and Boedo are just some of the neighbourhoods participating. It’s free and it will unite in body and spirit with your fellow townspeople.

Sunday | Free | Various locations throughout the city | Further information, including dates and locations

Yukata Parade

Yukata is a casual summer kimono, made of light cotton. This Sunday, you can enjoy this traditional Japanese dress in all its multicolored variety in the tranquil Jardín Japonés. Organized by the Argentine-Japanese Society, the Yukata parade will begin its gentle unravelling at 5pm. Take the kids (it’s free for under 12ers!) and find a spot among the sakura and azaleas in one of the biggest Japanese gardens outside The Land of The Rising Sun.

5pm | AR $95 (Children under 12 enter free)| Jardín Japonés (Puente Plano) | Av Casares 2966
“Here’s…” etc

Get a double shot of Jack Nicholson’s eyebrows this Sunday night at Crêpas Cinema Club open air showing of “The Shining.” In this Stanley Kubrick classic, Jack accepts a job as a winter caretaker at the Overlook Hotel in snowy Colorado. Alas, the winter is long and the hotel harbours a dark red secret: the last caretaker went crazy and chopped up his wife and kids. Weird twins, redrum and rivers of blood ensue. Grab a glass of beer and a fistful of popcorn and await the arrival of the axe-man on the Cinema club’s beautiful Palermo Soho terrace.

Doors open 8pm, film starts 9pm sharp | AR $100 (includes Grolsch beer or Aperol Spritz and popcorn)| Gurruchaga 1791

Queer Tango

1920's queer tango postcard
1920’s queer tango postcard

Tango, where men are men and women are women, and women follow the man. Right? Wrong. This Sunday evening, get yourself down to San Telmo for a screening of Liliana Furió’s documentary about the queerer side of tango. Tango Queerido explores the paradox of how this most traditional and gendered of dances has offered LGBT people a way of breaking the rules, doing politics and communicating their desires. After the film, you can put your theory into practice, with an 8pm tango class, hosted by Valeria Scheidegger and Celeste Rodriguez. There’ll be a milonga at 10:30pm. Feel free to swap roles and dance with all a sundry. Sexuality’s a fluid thing, don’t ya know?

6pm | Film free but Class + Milonga = AR $85  | Tacuarí 905