Yesterday, CNN Español published an article that shook the world. The gravity of their ideas was enough to shift the City of Buenos Aires off its axis. Portenos gasped, clasped their chest and covered the ears of their children when CNN Español published a 1,000 word article critiquing the merits and taste of Fernet Branca, the Italian liquor that Argentines all but worship. The article went so far as to claim that Fernet is even worse than cough syrup.
One does not simply insult Fernet
Fernet is not just a national drink, it’s a national anthem, it’s Carlos Gardel wrapped in blue and white manning the parilla at an asado in front of the Obelisco. It’s a big deal here. Granted the drink does take a while to adjust to, but one does NOT just diss an adopted national symbol and get away with it. Argentines were quick to call CNN out on their blasphemy. The Twittersphere erupted into (somewhat worrisome) outrage, with some going so far as to claim that CNN headquarters be burned for their words.
“CNN said Fernet is an ‘unpleasant syrup’? You guys have started a war. Latinos have turned into grade B gringos.”
— Ginny (@ayelengletelier) October 30, 2015
“My reaction to the CNN article”
CNN dijo que nuestro queridisimo fernet es un jarabe desagradable. No se ustedes pero yo estoy yendo a quemar la embajada de EE.UU.
— Ruben (@rubennrojas10) October 30, 2015
“CNN said out beloved fernet is an unpleasant syrup. I don’t know about you guys but I’m going to burn the US Embassy.”
La CNN dice que el fernet es un ” jarabe desagradable ” y vos tipo… pic.twitter.com/rKZL9fFGjj
“CNN said fernet is an ‘unpleasant syrup’ and your like… Interesting. Let me make note of that in my invisible typewriter.”
— Pirata #III (@33Rossetti33) October 30, 2015
La cnn dijo que el fernet es un jarabe desagradable. Esto tengo para ustedes mal aprendidos pic.twitter.com/ovYN3pbZl2
— Kevin Breyer (@kevinbreyer_25) October 30, 2015
“CNN said our fernet is an unpleasant syrup. I have this for you degenerates.”
La CNN definió al fernet como un “desagradable jarabe que aman los argentinos” CNN pic.twitter.com/YYmvcwos2S
— Cerebro (@yosoycerebro) October 30, 2015
“CNN defines fernet as an ‘unpleasant syrup that Argentines love’ CNN: Who are you?”
La CNN definió al fernet como un “desagradable jarabe que aman los argentinos”…PERO CHUPALA CNN! CHUPALA!! TODO MENOS MI FERNET.
— Nan Paez (@nanzakradganza) October 30, 2015
“CNN defines fernet as an “unpleasant syrup that Argentines love”… SUCK IT CNN! SUCK IT!! ANYTHING BUT MY FERNET.”
CNN q sabes de nuestro Fernet Branca (no hay otro) metete con lo q quieras. Seguí comiendo salchichas… pic.twitter.com/Y9OB1SaGtE
— Roly (@rolyrr_56) October 30, 2015
“CNN what do you know about our Fernet Branca (theres no other) worry about what you want. Keep eating sausages…”