[UPDATE & SPOILER ALERT IF YOU HAVEN’T READ THIS ARTICLE] From Dubai, Diego Maradona has addressed the rumors that his ex girlfriend is pregnant with his baby. The following is a text message he allegedly sent his daughter Gianinna.

(Screen grab via Ratingcero.com)
(Screen grab via Ratingcero.com)

“My ass is laughing, baby. May someone else be fucking her and be the baby’s father.”

Don’t expect to understand the grammar, we don’t get it either. But we assume he means it wasn’t him who got her pregnant. So there. That’s his response, at least for now. Below is the story we posted this afternoon.

Oh God, get ready.

Get ready because we are never going to hear the end of this.

In case you’re wondering why #LaBombadeVentura, Diegote, Veronica Ojeda and Rocío Oliva are all trending on Twitter Argentina right now, that’s because gossip columnist Luis Ventura has just announced that football superstar and serial impregnator Diego Armando Maradona (or “Diegote,” as people like to call him) is going to be a father again. So far so good, right? I mean, we all know that a child is a blessing, right? Or so they say because I hate children.

The problem is that the one pregnant is his ex girlfriend, Rocío Ojeda. “So what? Maybe they got back together!” you say. Well… let me put it this way. Do you know why Rocío Oliva is trending right now? Better yet – do you know who Rocío Oliva is?

If you said “Maradona’s current girlfriend,” you won!

 

 

That’s right, this is a scandal of biblical proportions that we don’t really care about but cover nonetheless because we don’t want you to feel like you’re missing out on pop culture.

Now, before Maradona sues us (please don’t) let us clarify that so far this is speculation only coming from Ventura, who claims that he was contacted by Ojeda herself to confirm the rumor, even though “she begged him not to say anything.”

Ojeda is Maradona’s ex girlfriend and they already have a child together (Diego Fernando Maradona) who’s not even one-year-old yet. So… if this is confirmed, bad news for Rocío Oliva.

Maradona currently lives in Dubai, where Ojeda traveled recently – in theory to tell him the news in person. Ventura says she never got to meet with him.

If this pregnancy is confirmed, this would be Maradona’s sixth child. He already has two daughters (Dalma and Gianinna) with Claudia Villafañe, one boy (Diego Fernando) with Veronica Ojeda, another son (Diego Jr.) with Italian citizen Cristiana Sinagra and another daughter (Jana) with Valeria Sabalain.

In the meantime, and until this is confirmed, the Internet is laughing at Maradona’s inability to keep his penis in his pants as is having the best day ever.

 

 

(You get extra points if you know what LTA means…)

 

 

Want some more, featuring The Simpsons? Here.

(Image via Facebook/Iglesiafunesmoriana)
(Image via Facebook/Iglesiafunesmoriana)
(Image via Taringa!)
(Image via Taringa!)
(Image via Taringa!)
(Image via Taringa!)

 

(Featured photo via Wikipedia)