Wait! I can explain this...
Wait! I can explain this…

Count Dracula Jorge Capitanich, President Cristina Fernández de Kirchner’s extremely charismatic (LOL) Cabinet Chief, has a pretty long list of enemies. Unions, Shell Oil, the media, agricultural producers – the list goes on and on. And while we all know his Sworn Enemy #1 is anyone who actually understands economics (ignorance is bliss for this administration), on Friday, January 31, during an interview on the show 6,7,8, on the state sponsored network, TV Pública, Jorge declared that “saving promotes greed and does not show solidarity with the Argentine people.” One would think that he would have chosen his words a little more carefully on a state-sponsored network that was probably doing everything it possibly could to make this administration look good (bless their souls), but nah. He managed to screw it up.

That wasn’t the end of it, though. Yesterday, it was revealed that he had declared almost 2.5 million pesos in savings, and the result was a type of damage control characteristic of this government in the last few weeks.

Apparently, what he really meant to say was that saving is good! But only when it’s used productively, like, to be spent in some way, on some project… that will help Agentina. And although Capitanich wasn’t clear about what sort of brilliant investment he plans to make with these millions of pesos, he explained that “it is a virtue to generate a mechanism for saving. Any other interpretation of saving is a malicious act. It is good to save with absolute precision.” I, personally, would like him to be a little bit more precise about what he means by that.

Whatever. It’s not like I believed anything you said in the first place, anyway, because politicians are selfish liars. I know that because I watch House of Cards. Actually, we’re all kind of selfish. So I’m pretty sure that appealing to our Argentine patriotism isn’t going to make us stop stuffing dollars under the mattress. People respond to incentives, and right now, the people have every right to flee the peso like the plague.