By now you’ve surely heard of Mars One, that incredibly insane idea to send humans to Mars so they can start colonizing the planet by 2023 while everyone on Earth follows their quirky adventures on live television. It is an exciting experience, no doubt about that, and I would sign up for a chance to become one of those brave pioneers if it weren’t for the small detail that it’s a one-way trip. You see, since unfortunately we still don’t have the technology to build a rocket ship that takes off from Mars, whoever goes there, stays there. The price of fame, people.

Also, if Hollywood has taught me anything, is that if you fuck with space you end up dead. Event Horizon, Alien… and don’t even get me started on Red Planet or Mission to Mars. So since chances are that cabin fever will cause one of those brave pioneers to snap and kill everyone else with an ice pick by season three, I’m afraid I’m gonna have to pass.

But not everyone is a coward like me, it would seem, since 80,000 people from 120 countries have already signed up to escape this boring planet and enter the history books. And that includes nine Argentines!

A story published by Clarín today details the excitement of eight men and one woman who are ready to leave their lives behind and lead the expansion of human civilization beyond our wildest dreams. Musician Clara Pugliese, granddaughter of tango legend Osvaldo Pugliese and so far the only female applicant from Argentina, hopes to be one of the lucky few who get picked to establish the first martian colony and is not concerned about having to stay there until her final days:

“It’s normal. I’ve been following this since forever and I always knew that there was no such thing as a ‘return’. I think I’m capable of falling in love with Mars,” she says.

Sister, I don’t mean to rain on your parade but I don’t think you have much of a choice. You either fall in love with it or fall in love with it. And your boyfriend Axel Javier Mastronardi, who is also applying to the program, is not filling me with confidence either:

“I can’t wait to settle down in Mars with my bandoneón,” he says.

[SPOILER ALERT] He is the first one to get killed.

Good luck, guys!

(Story via Clarin.com, Photo via Wikipedia)