Filed under: We can’t make this up.

Last April, a new police chief found himself in an awkward position. Chief Emilio Portero conducted an inventory check on 6,000 kilos of marijuana at a police warehouse in Pilar, in Buenos Aires province, only to find that it was a little… light. Roughly, 540 kilos – aka a half ton- was missing. The police had seized the marijuana in a drug bust over two years prior and the pot had been sitting there ever since. Portero subsequently alerted the Security Ministry’s General Audit of Internal Affairs (AGAI) to open an investigation into this *high* crime.

Buenos Aires Province officials in 2015 after the drug bust. (Photo: TELAM)
Buenos Aires Province officials in 2015 after the drug bust. (Photo: TELAM)

With a straight face, fellow authorities denied any responsibility and assured their new boss that the missing of marijuana – again, a half-ton, was eaten by rats. Perhaps they’ve seen Charlotte’s Web too many times.

Naturally, the investigators looking into the issue weren’t fooled. There was no Tom & Jerry type chase of cat and, well, rat. Over the weekend, Federal Judge Adrián González Charvay cited four police officers who worked in the Investigations of Illicit Drug Trafficking and Organized Crime sub-delegation to testify to their knowledge of the missing marijuana. AGAI has not yet taken disciplinary actions against the officials involved, pending the release of expert reports and investigatory statements.

Seized rat food, apparently (Photo: Infobae)
Seized rat food, apparently (Photo: Infobae)

Sources told Clarin that specialists from the University of Buenos Aires analyzed the case and explained that there was no way rats could confuse marijuana with food; even if a large group were to eat some, there would certainly be rat cadavers lining the piles, perhaps in a sign of warning. According to other specialists, marijuana can lose up to 10 percent of its total weight due to fluctuations in humidity, but the half-ton is a “high percentage.” Indeed.

Judicial investigators will look into the path the marijuana took between initial seizure and settlement at the warehouse, in addition to those who had access to the building. Those involved are set to testify on May 4th – just two weeks after what might be presumed as their favorite holiday.