Matt Damon

It’s not something you necessarily hoped for or anticipated, but it’s happened. Matt Damon has sung argentine cumbia.

Matt Damon, who is married to salteñan Luciana Barroso, crooned a few phrases from a trio of much-loved cumbias during an interview with an argentine media outlet.

The interviewer held up signs with the words of the songs and Matt Damon sung along in surprisingly clear Spanish (though the absence of the argentine ‘sh’ for y and ll sounds was noted, TRAIDOR!)

El Polaco’s heart-wrenching classic,“Deja de llorar, deja de sufrir,”  (Stop crying, stop suffering), a tropical explosion of synth and adolescent desire stoked from across the other side of the boliche, was first up. The Martian had a bit of a chuckle on the third line “El no se merece tu amor” (He doesn’t deserve your love) but overall delivered a convincing, if cold-blooded version of Ezequiel Ivan Cwirkaluk’s most famous hit.

El Polaco consumed by the flames of his love, not unlike Matt Damon for his wife Luciana Barroso.
El Polaco consumed by the flames of his love, not unlike Matt Damon for his wife Luciana Barroso. “I literally saw her across a crowded room, literally,” said Matt Damon literally, when describing the moment he met Luciana.

Next up was Amar Azul’s guileless, spoken-in-the-indicative-mood classic “Yo tomo licor y me gustan las chicas” (I drink liquor and like girls). Matt Damon revealed a particularly big smile on the line, “me gustan las chicas.” 

Matt Damon knows how to read
Matt Damon knows how to read

Tom Ripley finished with Emus DJ “Dale Que So Vo” (Surely untranslatable, though the interviewer went with, “You’re the man”). Dale que so vo, dale que so vo, sang Good Will Hunting, in tones so Argentine you were almost convinced he belonged to a barra brava and could prepare an asado in torrential rain.

The interviewer was impressed with Matt Damon’s skills, telling him they could act as a platform for a potential presidential campaign in Argentina (Cumbiemos?) Jason Bourne smiled pointedly and said he wouldn’t mind being President “here” (in other words, in the United States.)

Aguante Matt Damon, vieja!

 

giphy cumbia