Photo via Gazeta Norte.

With the newest release of campaign ads, presidential candidates Daniel Scioli (FpV) and Mauricio Macri (Cambiemos) proved that they have at least one thing in common: a knack for choosing the same background music heard when middle-aged people talk about Viagra on TV.

As soon as one is convinced that these aren’t ads promoting the functionality of every body part, it becomes quite clear that what’s being said may be less noteworthy than how it’s being said.

For instance, Scioli makes a point to speak softly as he says, “I am moderate and peaceful, but determined.” All that’s missing at the end of the ad is a closed-eye bow with Scioli exhaling, “Namaste.” The official candidate admits that he is also angry at the state of the government (as an appeal to, well, everyone) and helpfully points out that, as a person who hates fighting, he can create dialogue.

To his credit, Scioli delivers the “I’m a laid back guy” bit all the way through. And in classic political undermining fashion, he throws a subtle jab at Macri by promising Argentina “the change” it wants without the (insert subliminal message of a burning city behind the word “neoliberalism”) “risks of the past.”

Macri takes a different route for selling the political version of Viagra. Rather than having his middle-aged face smack-dab across the screen, the Cambiemos candidate lets his better half (Buenos Aires Province’s new governor) do the talking. María Eugenia Vidal demonstrates her optimism by reciting a laundry of list of things (hospitals, schools, infrastructure) that will change for the better.

In a half-assed acknowledgment of the “rumors” that Argentina will return to the dark age of the 1990s, Vidal assures its citizens that they “won’t lose anything that they already have.” And for what they don’t already have, cue the uplifting music (no pun intended).

Finally, the campaign ad pans over to the man who loves change: Macri in the flesh – beady eyes and everything. The second part of the equation excitedly (or nervously) intercedes with, “We’re convinced that we’re better together than separated.” Or, we hope this pill helps just as much as you do – so please give us your vote.

What then, Argentina: chilled-out, yet decisive dad or complete conversion to Cambiemos?