A kindergarten in La Plata has been shut down for two months after a colony of alacranes (a small type of scorpion) was discovered nearby, La Nación reports. It gets worse: they belong to the Tityus trivittatus, one of the most dangerous species in Argentina. So the school’s director was quick to suspend all activities and tell all 120 kids to stay with their parents until the exterminators take place of them (the scorpions, not the kids).

“We were very scared that one of the kids could get stung by a scorpion since their venom can be deadly. Even though some scorpions have shown up in recent years, we’ve never seen so many of them like this year,” the school’s director says.

Sweet mother of God. “Some scorpions have shown up in recent years“? I’m sure that’s something you’d love to hear as a parent looking for a prospective school. “Why, yes Mr. Sanchez. This is a lovely place. There is a swing set, a super fun slide, a puppy and the occasional visit of a deadly scorpion.”

But no, in all fairness it seems this isn’t the school’s fault. According to the article, reports of scorpion sightings in private residences have tripled this year in the La Plata downtown area, which has prompted a scientific investigation in order to find the cause of this sudden proliferation of poisonous arachnids.

And as the scorpions slowly expand their plans for global domination, Sandra González, a parasitological researcher for the Cepave, explains that one of the reasons behind the sudden population increase could be due to a recent construction boom in the area.

“Scorpions are nocturnal creatures (ew) so it’s hard to run into them. However, we believe the construction boom in recent years has forced them to leave the areas they inhabited and have now started their colonies in residential areas, in places like pipes, sewers and humid areas with no light,” she says.

Yeah, no, that’s not terrifying at all. The good news is that so far no fatal victims have been reported. “We only had to deal with one serious case in which a person was stung, but we treated them with the proper antiserum in time,” González explains.

The way we live now, people.

(Story via La Nacion, photo via Escopeta Oxidada del Rocio)