Photo/Instagram

So the VIP buzz of the week so far is that Chris Martin and his band, Coldplay, are in Buenos Air-Nope! Wait. Hold that thought.

Academy award-winning Gwyneth Paltrow (also known as Martin’s former wife) has been Instagramming her way through La Boca with famous local chef Francis Mallmann on ñoquis day.

Dream came true today. Lunch with @francismallmann at Don Carlos ??

A photo posted by Gwyneth Paltrow (@gwynethpaltrow) on

Way to steal your ex’s limelight.

Why is she here? We don’t really know. Apparently she is not stalking Chris Martin. The former couple are simply on very good terms and anyone needs an excuse to come here so we don’t blame her.

Wanna know what she ate? Enough to make an Argentine gasp. “Burnt tomatoes, croqueta, spinach frittata, grilled zucchini, grilled butternut squash, burrata, rocket salad and ñoquis.” At least she did that right. But burned tomatoes? Provecho. Dessert? Brownies, bread pudding, crème brulée, cheesecake and wine from Mendoza, obviously.

Don’t even try to pretend you put brownies, bread pudding, crème brulée and cheesecake down your throat, Gwyneth. One who names their child Apple, works out daily with Tracy Anderson and drinks rabbit food smoothies sprinkled with “Moon Juice Sex Dust” worth more than a Michelin star meal does not eat brownies, nor bread pudding, crème brulée or cheesecakes. Not even on a cheat day.

But I digress. Back to the important stuff. According to La Nación, after lunch in Don Carlos, the Oscar-winning actress explored La Boca and La Bombonera.

La parilla de restaurante Don Carlos en La Boca, Buenos Aires

A photo posted by Gwyneth Paltrow (@gwynethpaltrow) on

Welcome, Gwyneth!