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To say this week has been an eco-socio-political rollercoaster is an understatement. What vulture funds? ASHTON KUTCHER IS IN TOWN? Stop. And what about Brazil? Oh amigo, don’t get us started on Brazil. Your St Paddy’s hangover might already be too much to handle.

This is the last (and arguably most important) article you need to read for the next three days so hang in there. You’ll thank us on Monday. Ponele.

Friday 18

FESTIVAL: Word on the street is that Eminem is in town because this so-called Lollapalooza festival is on this weekend. Maybe you’ve heard of it. You can still get tickets online and on the Facebook event where people are selling them last minute. Before you give us excuses, picture your newsfeed come Sunday morning. Picture the photos of happy faces, beer in hand, flower crowns on. Too mainstream? Well you’re not wrong. That’s why we have so.many.other.options for you. Please, scroll down.

But come on, now. Tame Impala are playing.

MUSIC & POETRY: Hey romantic souls, this one is for you. An evening of poetry and live music on the terrace of Centro Cultural de la Memoria Haroldo Conti (Libertador 8151) from 7PM.

ART: We wrote about this sweet chick in our guide to some of Argentina’s best photographers. Adriana Lestido is opening her latest exhibition at 7PM at MACBA (San Juan 328).

FILM: One of the best French films of the decade: Intouchables, is being aired at BAIS Argentina (Ayacucho 1571) from 7.30PM. Nothing like a free pre-previa movie sesh.

MUSIC: Swedish singer Molly Nilsson is performing at Club Cultural Matienzo (Pringles 1249) from 9PM. Cool venue for a cool gal.

PUB CRAWL: Calling the rowdy St Patrick’s day lot to the block. The line-up? All you can eat and drink from 10PM to 11PM, free shots in each next bar, free club entry, no line, discounts, joda, joda, joda. It starts in Foyner’s Pub (Niceto Vega 4986). All for AR$150. Bargain, I say.

Saturday 19

FOOD: Fried Venezuelan empanadas and craft beer at La Carbonera (El Salvador 4401) y’all. They are being served from 12PM to 5PM.

ST PATRICK’S DAY: If you didn’t make it to one of the many pubs in this city for a good ol’ pint of ale, lager, anything, you haven’t completely missed out. Plaza San Martin will be filled with green and orange, music, dancing, food and drink for Buenos Aires is celebrating Ireland. So bring your friends along from 2PM to 8PM and get that Guinness down ya. It’s free, obvio.

FOOD: If you missed Le Petit Mercado and desperately need a way of getting your macaroon fix, then make your way to the Palermo Hippodrome (Libertador 4101). LE MARCHÉ is on from 10AM to 8PM and there will be, give or take a few, every food product you can imagine from Lille to Marseille, via Brest and Bordeaux.

MUSIC: Gipsy jazz, anyone? Los Caravana are playing at Besares Club de Cultura (Besares 1840) at 9PM. They do sound like a bunch of fun if you need an alternative to Mumford & Sons, assuming you decided not to be tempted by Lolla.

MUSIC: As of midnight, Konex is hosting its cumbia night featuring Los Gedes, Yerba Brava and Ariel el Traidor y Los Pibes. Purchase tickets here or on the door. This is the real sound of Argentina, guys.

PARTY: In the light of International Women’s day last week, there is a Colombian rumba night on at Glam Disco (Cabrera 3046). Girls go free all night. Sorry lads, it’s AR$50.

Sunday 20

FESTIVAL: If you have young kids or can’t get enough of nannying even on weekends, the Small Big Festival is on at Ciudad Cultural Konex (Sarmiento 3131) from 2PM. There will be snacks, games, music, theatrical performances and workshops. A family day out, copado-style. Tickets cost AR$150.

FOOD & ART: Festival Tropicaires includes food, films, art, workshops and lots of other quirky stuff from 3PM at G104 (Gascon 104). It costs AR$100.

FILM: Juan Tauil’s documentary “T” about the backstage scenes and the fight by transvestites prior to the gender equality law, will be projected in Brandon (Luis María Drago 236) at 6PM.

MUSIC: Colombian lovable bad ass Toto La Momposina is performing at Niceto Club (Niceto Vega 5510) from 8PM for AR$500. You can get your tickets here.