Photo via Los Andes.

Across the pond, River Plate and Boca’s rivalry is as well known as Real v Barça, so much so it’s on every football fan’s Bucket List and every clickbait listicle on the web (OMG! #8 Will Shock You!).

But now it’s officially the greatest rivalry in world football after the British newspaper The Telegraph, who usually exclusively writes about Princess Diana, cricket and the best type of jam for your all-white summer garden party, published its top 20 derbies with the Superclásico coming out on top.

The paper speaks about the “class, geographical, cultural and style” divisions between the two clubs. Which is, actually, a lot nicer sounding than second place’s rivalry — Celtic v Rangers in Glasgow, Scotland. A rivalry built along religious divides, ending in racial animosity which stretches back generations, which is really, really lovely. A nice place to take the kids for the afternoon.

River was based just a couple of miles away from Boca back in the ‘20s, before moving out with its new-found cash — hence the nickname Los Millionarios (The Millionaires). The rivalry has grown exponentially since then, spattered with violence and hatred.

As it stands, River has won the league more times, but that’s by-the-by when Boca can still point to its head-to-head 84-77 lead over Los Millionarios. I, myself, am completely neutral on the entire situation, my ambivalence is limitless — please do not send fiery bags of dog shit to me or my employers, thank you.

The top 10 are as follows:

  1. River-Boca
  2. Rangers-Celtic (Scotland)
  3. Red Star Belgrade-Partizan (Serbia)
  4. Fenerbahçe-Galatasaray (Turkey)
  5. Al Ahly-Zamalek (Egypt)
  6. Ajax-Feyenoord (The Netherlands)
  7. Barcelona-Real Madrid (Spain)
  8. Olympiacos-Panathinaikos (Greece)
  9. Roma-Lazio (Italy)
  10. Manchester United-Liverpool (England)