Photo via: Etiqueta Negra

Buenos Aires is a good looking city. Sure, trash pick up can be at best sporadic, but the only thing better looking than the eclectic mix of old-world architecture lining the city’s streets are probably the people walking on the sidewalks below. Whether you’re from here, moved here or are just visiting, it probably won’t take you long before you’re wondering how to keep up with this particular breed of smooth-talking metrosexuals — all of whom seem to have a thing with 90’s grunge culture.

After you finish trying to figure out if mixing chamuyo, ripped jeans and the right amount of scruff actually gets you laid here — spoiler alert: it does — try to find your way back to center and get to the point of what brought you to this article in the first place. General upkeep is not only possible but totally doable here regardless of your timeline or language skills. Let’s look at some basics, shall we?

Hair | Sicodelica Hair Art

Getting a haircut when you’re going in for anything beyond a basic military cut can take some footwork if you’re going to find the right person for the job. While hipster-filled barber shops have popped up alongside Buenos Aires’ endemic beer and burger joints, few stylists posses the trifecta of skills needed to serve everyone from the wayward (and linguistically stunted) expat to the high-maintenance local. These skills include: knowing how to cut hair, color it the way you ask for it to be done and the ability to do all of this while speaking either English (you lazy stereotype you) or Spanish.

Never trust a stylist unless their hair looks this good
Never trust a stylist unless his hair looks this good

If you’re in the need of any of the services listed above, Javier Aranda from his Recoleta-based salon Sicodelica Hair Art is the man for the job. In addition to running his own shop in an area known for, let’s call them “demanding,” clientele Javier does work that borders on hair alchemy.

This guy mixes his own colors using both his own line of color as well as top notch products from L’Oreal. Javier and his team are also educated to standards on par with upper market salons in Europe and the United States, and they take what they do very seriously. If your neurosis over picking someone who knows what they’re doing puts you somewhere between Woody Allen and Dr. Who, then rest assured — these guys are trained and know their stuff.

Sicodelica Hair Art | Arenales 2066

Claim to fame: Crazy good hair color and grooming for men (they do great work with the ladies, too, but that’s another article). They are experts in styles that combine cooler elements from the 30’s and 50’s with a contemporary fresh edge.

Skin | Dr. Sergio Escobar

Anyone who has been in Argentina for more than a day probably knows that a hefty segment of the population here seems to worship both the sun and cigarettes with equal vehemence. It stands to reason, then, that local dermatologists have their work cut out for them.

As a field, beyond dealing with smokers and tanorexics, dermatology, like most areas of medicine in Argentina, is clinically advanced. Finding a qualified doctor isn’t too hard, but finding the right doctor who cares about skin health — but won’t turn you into the male version of that intense looking plastic surgery cat lady you see on the front of supermarket tabloids — can be a challenge.

Dr sergio

Enter Dr. Sergio Escobar. No he’s not related to that guy from Narcos but he is a board certified dermatologist who has built a name for himself by becoming an expert in minimally invasive treatments that keep his patients looking like the young, non-smokers they wish they were.

Beyond being a certified expert in Botox, Dr. Escobar is also a University of Buenos Aires trained doctor who travels the world teaching other doctors how to administer the drug correctly, so he has a whole range of tools at his disposal to get your skin looking and feeling the way you want it to. On top of knowing what he is doing, he is comfortable working with patients in both English and Spanish, so you don’t even have to practice saying “I still want my face to register emotions like fear and anger” in Spanish.

Dr. Sergio Escobar | Arce 829

Claim to fame: In addition to writing two books and over 15 peer reviewed papers, Dr. Escobar knows how to treat patients and their skin so both look and feel healthy and natural looking. His office is one of the best places in the country to go for Emerge Fractional Laser treatments, which zap damaged skin cells and help encourage healthier, nicer looking skin to generate in its place. It’s not for everyone, but it’s a solid option for people with targeted trouble areas.

Body | Pablo Gonzalez

This is probably the part some more active readers might expect a personal trainer or a gym to be ranted and raved about. Research is still pending on that front, though be warned that everyone in this town seems to be obsessed with CrossFit and paleo diets at levels not seen since the early 2010’s in New Jersey. Given our team’s tendency to prioritize carbs over cardio, let’s focus on getting your body to feel good now and leave the workout business to another article.

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You know what’s better than working out? Getting a massage. There are countless spas and massage spots around, but in a wonderful twist of fate one of the best masseuses in town will actually come to YOU. That’s right. Add deep tissue massage to the list of things that can be delivered right to your door in Buenos Aires — right along side things like ice cream and booze. This city just gets it sometimes.

Pablo Gonzalez has the precision of a surgeon and the hands of some kind of healing man-deity. He specializes in deep tissue massage, targeting the spots where stress and pain get concentrated but can adjust to your needs and preferences. Well-earned relief from both stress and pain is a house call away. Pablo is a licensed massage therapist who went on to work in places like the Mandarin Oriental in Miami and the Ritz Carlton before returning to Argentina to build up a more client-focused way of working with people.

Pablo Gonzalez | Consultations available via email pablogonzalez@inbox.com

Claim to fame: Mixing deep tissue, Swedish and sports massage techniques into individualized services that are designed to improve health and comfort over the long term. This is most definitely not a trip to the massage section in Brookstone. Gonzalez completely embodies the “therapist” part of his LMT job title.